Have A Little Faith (Harry Styles FanFic)
by millsnichole22
Summary: Landon(HARRY) Styles was in a tragic car accident a year ago and now the only way he can walk is with the help of a pair of crutches. Before the accident he had everything: A girlfriend, He was on the football team, His time trials for the Track Team were good enough to get him a full ride into the college of his choice; He had tons of friends...But after the accident...
1. 1 Angels Fall

**Hello readers! This is my first attempt at a Harry Style fan fiction…I have changed his name to Landon…I have the cast list for the book listed below so everyone will have someone to picture as you read…please let me know what you think….thank you…with love…N…**

HAVE A LITTLE FAITH CAST:

Harry Styles as Landon Styles

Isabelle Fuhrman as Faith Keller

Callan McAuliffe as Jake Anderson

Jamie Dornan as Henry Styles

Dylan Minnette as Tad

Gabriel Basso as Evan

Sterling Beaumon as Adam

Peyton List as Amanda

Christina Ricci as Harmony Keller

 **SONG** : Angels Fall **ARTIST** : Breaking Benjamin

 _ **"...When angels Fall with broken wings...I can't give up, I can't give in...When all is lost and daylight ends...I'll carry you and we will live forever, forever..."**_

"Come on Landy! Move your fucking crippled ass!"

"Yeah, yeah keep your panties on Jake."

I shuffle my body and my crutches into the front seat of Jake's car and before I can manage to pull the car door shut; he floors it and my head hits the seat as I pull the door closed.

"Christ Jake! What are you trying to do finish me off or something?"

"Maybe…it would be a mercy killing really."

"I don't need your mercy."

"How do you do that all the time Landon?"

"Do what all the time?"

"Be so fucking chipper; be so god damned positive?"

"I'm assuming you are referring to my disability?"

"Well yeah…I mean it must be depressing; you had such possibilities in life and now…well now because of some drunk asshole your life is basically shit."

"At least I'm still here though; I could be dead."

"True, true."

"Who else is going to this concert again Jake?"

"Well aside from me and you; Tad, Evan, Callie, and of course Faith."

"Seriously? Tad? I…really dislike him."

"You fucking hate him! Why can't you just say that man?"

"Trying to stay chipper I guess. Faith huh? Is this the same Faith that you have been blowing me off for lately?"

"Yep."

I can't help but chuckle at his honest answer. Jake is one of my few remaining friends from before my accident; most of my other so called friends don't like being around me anymore. I get it, really I do; I used to be on the football team and I ran track…hell I was on the path to a full scholarship because of my time trials in track. Jake was on the football team with me as well as Tad and Evan but after my accident Jake quit the team; he said it just wasn't the same playing football without me on the team. I tried to get him to join back up with the team but he refused. Up until about three weeks ago Jake and I have spent most weekends hanging out but since he met Faith at a rave about a month ago we haven't seen each other lately; going to this concert will be a nice way to spend some time together. Being at the concert with thousands of other people around should keep Tad from being a complete ass for the night.

"Are things serious between the two of you?"

"Landy; when have you ever known me to be serious about a girl?"

"Well…never I guess; but we're seniors now Jake. Don't you think it's about time to stop all the games?"

"Fuck no! There's still College; you know the land of beer kegs and pussy for days."

"There's more to life than beer and sex you know."

"Don't hate on me just because I can still get my dick hard."

"You're an ass you know that right?"

"I'm still your best friend though."

"Considering you are my only friend to choose from; I guess you will have to do for a best friend."

"Whoa! What happened to Mr. Chipper? Why all doom and gloom all of a sudden? Was it the dick joke? Did I go too far with that?"

"It's cool Jake; I'm still chipper but it's true you are pretty much my only friend anymore."

"Oh bullshit! Everyone talks to you Landon. The girls alone…"

"That's the thing Jake; everyone talks to me at school or at outings and stuff but you are the only one who actually puts any effort in. The girls are only nice to me because they feel bad for me."

"That might be true but you waste your talent on them."

"What are you even talking about Jake? What do you mean I waste my talent?"

"Come on Landon; you are the token crippled kid at school; you could see so many tits just by playing the sad pathetic cripple but you don't…fuck if I were in your shoes I would have seen all the girls tits in school by now; hell even the fat chicks."

Other people might get offended by some of the shit Jake says about my disability but I never do because I know he is only kidding. One thing I can say about Jake is that he never feels uncomfortable around me; not even when he first found out I would never walk on my own two feet again. All my other friends from before the accident don't know how to act around me anymore; I make them uncomfortable.

"You are such a pervert Jake."

"I'm not a pervert; I'm a hormonal teenager; there's a difference. Hey! Do you remember when we went to Sonic right after school was out for the year and I used your crutches to get that chick's phone number?"

"How could I forget? You left me sitting in the car for over an hour while you flirted with her. What ever happened with that one?"

"Never saw her again but she gave me one hell of a blow job behind the dumpster."

"So glad my crutches were able to get you such a romantic date Jake."

"It was very romantic; especially when the rat almost crawled up her pant leg."

"Was there really a rat or were you just making that part up?"

"There was a fucking rat! I used one of your crutches to scare it away."

"I still think you are making that part up. Are we just meeting everyone there or do we need to pick anyone up?"

"I was supposed to pick up Faith but she is just going to ride with Callie and Evan instead."

"What about Tad?"

"He's got his own way there."

"Good."

"He wanted me to give him a ride but I told him no."

"Really? Why?"

"Because he's a dick. I can't help that he is in our social circle but I can at least keep him from being a douche bag to my best friend at least some of the time."

"You don't have to do that you know; I'm a big boy and I can take care of myself."

"Who say's I'm taking care of you? I just can't understand why you don't shove one of your crutches up his ass. I mean some of the shit he says to you; doesn't it piss you off at all?"

"Sure sometimes but I try not to dwell on other peoples negativity; it's too exhausting trying to worry about what other people think all the time."

"Fuck we should have left earlier; there's like nowhere to park. We should have brought your dads van; we could be parking in the handicap spot right now if we had that little sign."

"I keep trying to get him to throw that thing away; I don't need it."

"We'd be fucking VIP's right now if you weren't so damned proud you know. Think about it Styles; your dads van, your wheelchair, we'd be like god damned rock stars rolling it to see Five Finger Death Punch. The band would invite us back stage because they'd be like: oh look at that poor fucking kid in the wheel chair…"

"You are only in this relationship for the incentive package aren't you Jake?"

He just laughs at my joke as we make our way from the back of the parking lot towards the entrance to the Arena. We hand over our tickets to a middle aged man and I collect our stubs as Jake runs off ahead to greet the rest of our group. I hobble my way towards Jake, Tad and Evan and wonder where the girls are; probably in the bathroom. What is it with girls always going to the bathroom together? What are they doing in there that makes them feel the need to make it a group trip? Evan nods and looks away before I can make him too uncomfortable as I watch Jake and Tad check out some of the girls that are wondering around the massive hallway.

"Hey Crip; how's the legs treating you?"

Tad never calls me by my name anymore; as far as he is concerned my name is now and forever will be Crip. The first time he called me that Jake punched him in the face but I told Jake to just let it alone.

"Hey there Tad. You know the usual, numb and uncooperative."

"Where are the girls?" Jake asks Tad in the attempt to change the subject.

"Bathroom; probably changing their tampons. I'll warn you now Callie is being a major cunt today."

"Maybe that's because she is stuck being around you today Tad." I might have made my comment sound like a joke but the truth is I can't understand why anyone would want to spend time with Tad; he is an asshole to everyone. Maybe that's why it doesn't bother me when he says ignorant shit to me all the time; he says ignorant shit to everyone.

"Yeah well maybe if she let me stick it to her she would smile more." Tad jokes back and everyone laughs; except me. Tad see's girls as nothing more than an opportunity for sex and never anything more. Evan has had the same girlfriend since we were freshman so he doesn't act that way; his girlfriend Melinda is a sweet girl that goes to Saint Lutheran's and they are planning to get married right after graduation. Jake tries to act like all he is interested is in sex but he's actually a good guy that just hasn't found the right girl yet; well that and maturity; he could use a little more maturity. Tad is just a pig; plain and simple.

"Oh my God! Is that you Landon?"

I turn around to see the girl that broke my heart into a million pieces almost a year ago.

"Wow! Amanda? How the hell are you?"

She come up and gives me an awkward hug and her blond hair still smells like coconut; just like it always has. She takes a step back and her blue eyes look at me with the look I hate seeing in people's eyes; pity. Her eyes are saying: Oh poor, poor Landon; poor crippled Landon.

"I'm doing great Landon. It's a surprise seeing you here."

"Why would it be a surprise? You know how much I love Death Punch; I go to every one of their concerts when they come to town."

"That's true you do go to all of their concerts."

"I should be the one who is surprised to see you here. I thought you hated them."

"Yeah, I still do but Adam loves them."

"Right Adam loves them. Adam; my replacement Adam? Or did you find a new Adam?"

"Don't be like that Landy." Her blue eyes look sad but I don't care. Right after my accident and before the doctors knew I wouldn't ever be able to walk again she made this huge speech to me about how she loved me and how she would always be there for me. Turns out I didn't hear the fine print of that speech because as soon as she found out I was crippled she fucking checked out.

"Well have fun with Adam; I gotta get back to my friends now."

"Landon…"

I just walk away from her as she whispers my name; her voice sounds like it's filled with regret but I refuse to turn around and give into her sad blue eyes. It's pointless to give into her because she always ends up leaving anyhow. A month after she broke up with me she came to my house crying and saying how much she missed me; I was so happy that she came back but she only broke my heart again the very next day; she said she was still confused. She came back to me twice more after that and the last time was just that; the last time. I can't let her break my heart anymore; if I give into her even just one more time I think it might be the end of me.

"You cool man?" Jake asks as he watches Amanda disappear around the corner.

"Cool as a cucumber." I say with a fake smile on my face.

"Good because the bands about to start and we have some major moshing to do."

"You go ahead and mosh; I'll be moshing in spirit at a safe distance…Oh hey there Callie! How are you doing?"

"Hi Landon. I'm good; have you met Faith?"

She points to the girl standing beside her and I am confused as to why Jake would want anything to do with this girl. Jake always goes for the cheerleader types but this girl is nothing like the bleach blond girls that tan too much or wear designer jeans that cost more than most people's entire wardrobes. I don't have any room to talk; Amanda is a cheerleader and she is blond and she tans too much and she does in fact wears designer jeans that cost more than my entire wardrobe but she wasn't always like that. Amanda used to be the girl next door type until she joined the cheerleading squad and then she started to change. I realize now that it's probably best that her and I broke up because by the end of our two year relationship she wasn't the same girl I fell in love with; I was only being hopeful of the fact that maybe after high school she would stop faking it. I thought that we would graduate next year and she would go back to the sweet girl I gave my heart to; but I think maybe the Amanda that she is now is who she will remain to be for the rest of her life. This girl; Faith; she is nothing like you typical cheerleader. Faith is barely five feet tall and she is ghostly pale; her long hair is dyed jet black to match her heavy black eyeliner as well as her black clothes. She has black boots on and her pants are baggier than mine. She is wearing a vintage t-shirt that says: 'Where's the beef?' on the front of it in faded letters.

"No, I don't believe we have met yet. The names Landon; it's nice to meet you Faith."

She looks at my extended hand as she chews at her bottom lip; she is trying to figure out if she will catch my disability just by shaking my hand or not. She lets out a little giggle as she swats my hand away and I freeze when she wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly.

"Sorry, I'm a hugger; I hope that's okay."

Her voice is clear and throaty; her voice sound like she is much older and much more confident then what her appearance shows. I figured she would have this tiny little voice to match her tiny little body.

"It's okay with me; you are a good hugger. Who would have guessed a tiny thing like you could crush my fragile bones like that." I joke with her.

"You flirting with my girl Landon?" Jake slaps his hand on my shoulder as we make our way to our seats.

"I wasn't flirting; she's the one who got all hands-y with me."

"You're just lucky that you are my best friend; I might share her with you even." He winks at me as he puts his arm around Faith before he kisses her. Jake has no shame about PDA; he could care less if his tongue down her throat makes the rest of us uncomfortable or not. Faith on the other hand shoves him away and punches him hard in the stomach before muttering that he is a pig as she turns away from him. Jake just laughs and wiggles his eyebrows at me.

"You okay Jake? Looks like she hit you pretty hard."

"Don't let her small size fool you man; she hits fucking hard. She punched me in the balls last Saturday for trying to put my hands up her shirt."

"Seriously?"

"Yes but she likes to play hard to get. I ended up doing much more than put my hand up her shirt before the night was over. That was a fun night; I think I ate enough food for three people the next day just to make up for all my hard work; if you catch my drift."

"I commend your stamina Jake. This one must be extra intriguing if you like the games she plays with you."

"Intriguing? She's a total bitch; you know what that means don't you? It means she's killer in the sack."

"A bitch really? That's harsh man; I wouldn't let her hear you say that."

"I call her a bitch all the time; she thinks it's funny. Besides you should hear some of the things she calls me."

"Like what?"

"You know shit like pencil dick, ass hat, prick, and her favorite name to call me by is mother fucker."

"Wow! She sounds amazing!" I joke with him.

After the concert we all decide to meet up at the Sonic for some much needed food and Jake, Faith and I are the last ones to get there because Jake and Faith got into a ten minute argument about letting me sit in the front seat. I was more than happy to sit in the back but Faith insisted that I sit up front; Jake wanted Faith to sit in front with him and after a minute or two I just zoned the two of them out. Turns out I sat up front anyhow after the ten minute argument.

Evan disappeared after the band was finished playing; probably went to see Melinda before it got too late. I am sitting at one of the outdoor tables with Callie while we wait for Jake and Faith to get food for all of us and I am watching Tad flirt with some blond across the parking lot just so I can avoid talking to her.

"I gotta go to the bathroom Landon; I will be right back."

I just nod my head at Callie as she practically runs away from me; she is probably the most uncomfortable person that hangs around me. She always tries to be nice but she never really looks at me when she talks and she tries her best to never be left alone with me. Shit here comes Tad and I am stuck over here by myself; wonder what kind of shit he's going to say to me tonight.

"Awe poor Crip is sitting over here with all of his friends; oh wait my mistake looks like you're all alone."

"Don't your pathetic insults seem to go to waste when there is no one else around to even hear them Tad?"

"Are you saying that you are no one Crip? Because you certainly hear my insults loud and clear."

"I hear them; I just choose not to listen to them."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Not to you it doesn't." I say flatly; I breathe a small sigh of relief when I see Jake and Faith making their way back towards me. Jake sits the tray of food on the table and looks at me for a moment before turning towards Tad.

"What's the matter Tad? Couldn't get that girls phone number?"

"Fuck off Jake; she was nasty anyhow."

I watch Faith put straws in all the drink cups and divide the napkins up as she lays each pile on our food. She takes the time to count the napkins out so that her, Jake and I each have three; for some reason I find myself smiling at this. She hands me my fries and my milkshake with a small smile on her face as she chews on her bottom lip. I absently chew on my lip ring between sips of my milkshake as I listen to Jake and Tad banter back and forth about who has better moshing skills. Tad reaches over and tries to take one of my French fries only to get his hand slapped away by Faith and I can't help but laugh at the dirty look she gives him.

"Get your own food asshole." She scolds. Her voice is a little horse from all the singing along at the concert; I swear she knew all the words to every song they played; that makes me smile.

"Mind your business you little Goth bitch. Crip doesn't care; do you Crip."

"Actually I do mind; you shouldn't call her names by the way. I thought I was your victim of choice when it comes to spitting out nasty names anyway Tad." I say with a smile on my face as I pop a fry into my mouth.

"Fuck you limp dick."

"See now, that's more like it Tad. Keep you cross hairs on me and off of her."

"What the fuck do you care what I call this freak?" Tad waves his hand towards Faith and I feel my anger flare.

"I care because you don't even know her and you think you can talk to her like that. Just knock it off already."

"Shut the fuck up Crip before I shove one of your crutches up your ass. Where the hell did Callie go?"

"I would tell you but you told me to shut up so…"

Tad glares at me from across the table and I am surprised when he gets up and walks away without saying a word. When I look across the table after watching Tad disappear around the corner I find a pair of brown eyes staring at me. It surprises me that she continues to stare right at me; she doesn't even know me; yet I don't seem to make her uncomfortable. We just sit there staring at each other until Jake's phone starts to ring and we both look away at the same time. Jake gets up and walks away from the table after mouthing to the two of us that his mom is calling him. Less than a minute later he walks back over with an irritated look on his face.

"We gotta go. My mom locked herself out of the house and she needs me to let her in."

"I haven't even finished my food yet." Faith says with a huff.

"Fuck your food; let's go." Jake seems almost disappointed that we have to leave as I begin to collect my crutches.

"I will do no such thing; I am starving so I want to finish my food. Can't you just go let her in and then come back and get me?"

"You want me to just leave you here all by yourself?"

"Landon can stay with me. Right Landon?" Her brown eyes look at me pleadingly as I sit my crutches back down beside me.

"Sure." I say casually.

"You sure man? Aren't you getting tired?" Jake asks.

"I'm good. I'd be happy to sit with her until you get back; besides it's not even ten yet."

"Did you take your medicine?"

"What are you my mother? Just go we will be fine until you get back Jake." I know he means well but sometimes when he asks me questions like that; I feel like he is coddling me; not to mention it's embarrassing and I can't help but keep the aggravation out of my voice. Jake shrugs his shoulders at me and walks away without even saying so much as a goodbye to Faith. I watch his car exit the parking lot and continue to stare off into the darkness as I sip my milkshake. Faiths voice pulls my attention back to her.

"Do you always chew on your lip ring?"

"Yeah I guess it's kind of a bad habit that I started and now I can't seem to stop doing it. Do you always chew on your bottom lip?" I challenge back.

"I only chew on my lip when I'm nervous."

"I'm sorry if I make you feel nervous."

"You don't actually; I mean Callie said that it was weird for her to be around you and I thought maybe I might feel the same way but I didn't when I first met you and I still don't."

She smiles at me as her brown eyes look directly at me; I can't help but return her smile. Jake says she's a bitch but she seem perfectly nice to me.

"I wouldn't be offended if you did feel that way; most people feel weird around me."

"Why? Because you walk with crutches?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"That's fucking stupid."

"You only know me this way though so it might seem stupid to you. Everyone else remembers the old me and this…well the way I am now people just have trouble dealing with it I guess."

"What do you mean remembers the old you?"

"I wasn't born this way Faith; I was in a car accident a year ago and now I can't walk without these hunks of metal."

"You seem to be handling it pretty well; even if everyone else isn't. Jake seems cool with you."

"Yeah Jake's good about it; he can be a little smothering at times but at least he still wants to be around me; no one else wants to hang around with the cripple."

"Well I think that's stupid; you don't need all those superficial people around you if they can't handle the fact that you need to use your crutches."

"Uh…thanks I guess…so how do you know Callie anyhow?"

"She went to school with me until the seventh grade and we were best friends since kindergarten. Even after she moved here with you guys we have stayed close. How did you wreck the car?"

"Huh? Oh you mean the accident. Some drunk guy T-boned my car when I was on my way home from the football game."

"Were you alone when it happened?"

"No Jake was in the car with me; he got a fractured wrist and a pretty good concussion but other than that he was okay; I got the worst of it."

"Did you play?"

"Huh?"

Her laugh is really nice to hear; it's a natural laugh; not one of the fake ones I'm used to hearing from girls.

"Football; were you on the team or were you just at the game to watch?"

"Oh sorry, yeah I was on the team I was the kicker; Jake was the quarterback."

"Jake quite the team?"

"Yeah he said it wasn't the same playing on the team without me."

"Do you miss playing football? Crap that was probably a really shitty question to ask."

Now it's my turn to laugh as I watch her start to chew on her bottom lip.

"I do miss playing football but I miss running track more."

"You were on the track team too?" Her eyebrows go up in amazement.

"Yep; I was even on my way to a full scholarship for my time trials but…" I trail off as I lower my eyes to the tray of cold fries in front of me. The shit I say to people is probably half the reason why they feel uncomfortable around me. I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut around people. My body jerks when I feel Faith wrap her arms around my shoulders from behind me as she nuzzles her face into my neck. Her soft whisper makes my skin tingle.

"I would have loved to see you run; I bet you were the fastest runner on the team with your long legs."

"Actually Sheila Dale was the fastest runner on our team." I attempt to keep my voice calm while she continues to hug me. After a quite minute she lets go of me and takes her seat once again; when I look at her she is smiling at me.

"I can see why Jake likes you so much; you are easy to talk to Landon."

"Jake and I have been close since the second grade. I'm going to miss him when he leaves for college."

"Are you going to college?"

"Mostly likely just community college; I won't have the money to attend a major university."

"Where did you want to go? What are you planning on studying?"

"I was hoping to get into Stanford with Jake but like I said my scholarship didn't really work out. I have no clue what courses I'm going to take; I guess I have most of my senior year to figure that part out. How about you? What are your plans?"

"Pfft…I just hope I can get a job after I graduate. I doubt I will go to college; maybe a trade school or something if I think of something interesting to do with my life. For now I am just having fun; it's probably not the responsible way to live but who the hell cares right?"

We both laugh and I find myself trying to think of something else that might make her laugh; I could listen to this girl laugh all night. Even if I can't make her laugh again I will still enjoy just the sound of her voice as she continues to talk to me. I realize that this is the longest conversation I have had with a girl for almost a year; god I'm pathetic as I sit here hanging on every one of her words.

"How long have you had your lip ring?" She asks with a small grin on her face.

"My dad took me to get it when I turned fifteen so almost three years now I guess."

"Wow your dad must be cool as hell."

"Not really; him and my mom had just got a divorce and for about a year they were trying to play 'which parent was cooler' but that only lasted so long; now they are both just annoying."

"Do you live with your mom or you dad?"

"With my dad."

"What about your mom? Do you see her a lot?"

"Not really. Mom moved to California three years ago with her new boyfriend so I'm lucky to see her two or three times a year."

"So you don't really get along with your mom all that well I take it?"

"Yeah; she's…different now I guess…her new boyfriend is number one…I'm just a pain in her ass now."

"How were your parents after the accident?"

This girl seems to have no filter whatsoever; she doesn't seem afraid to ask me questions that most people would avoid asking me. I find her boldness to be refreshing.

"Mom came and stayed at my grams for about a week but once I got out of the hospital she went back to California. Dad just seems the same really; you know goes to work, pays the bills, complains about me asking him for money all the time but pretty much the same as before."

"No offence but your mom sounds selfish to me."

"None taken; she is pretty selfish to be honest with you. I actually thought for a second that maybe my accident would somehow make her and dad get back together but I guess I was just having a childish fantasy."

"It's not childish Landon. All kids want to have their parents; even if they annoy us sometimes."

I am overwhelmed with disappointment when I see Jake's car pull back into the parking lot; my nice conversation is sure to be over now. I feel like I still have questions for this strange girl that I might never get the answers to. The question I regret not asking her the most is why she is spending time with Jake; she doesn't even seem to like him. Jake doesn't give two shits about this girl and I would bet money that he hasn't had this long of a conversation with her; he just wants her for sex. My almost sad mood turns to a grumpy mood as I hobble towards Jakes car. I get in and slam the door while I wait for the two of them to get in the car. Faith climbs in the back and yawns loudly before laying across the back seat. Jake gets in and starts the car before turning on the radio; I chuckle when I hear Ed Sheeran playing from the speakers and he huffs as he turns the radio back off.

"Why did you shut it off Jake? It's no secret that you love the Ginger Jesus."

"Shut up Landon." He laughs and I end up laughing louder when I hear Faith making gaging noises in the back seat. Jake tells Faith that she can fuck off and walk home if she doesn't quit making fun of his choice in music and the three of us laugh. Our laughter trickles off and the rest of the car ride to my house is quite; by the time Jake pulls into my driveway I am ready to fall asleep.

"See you tomorrow Jake?"

"I'll let you know; might be busy." He winks at me as Faith climbs over the seat to get in the front. Before I can stand up and shut the door Faith pulls me in for a tight hug and whispers in my ear.

"It was so nice to meet you Landon. You smell really good by the way."

"Um…thank you…It was very nice meeting you Faith; you take care now."

I deliberately avoid looking at her as I turn to go into the house. What is wrong with me? I don't even know that girl and the odds of me even seeing her again after tonight is slim to none; yet I feel like I miss her already. My damn stomach flipped and my pulse spiked when she whispered about how I smelled. I guess I'm just lonely for female attention. Christ! Poor, poor crippled Landon.

After my shower I just lay in bed thinking about Faith as I try to fall asleep. I am trying to find some kind of reason why I can go to Jake's tomorrow to see of maybe I can talk to her again; since I know she is probably staying over at his house tonight. Part of me wishes Jake would just get tired of chasing her so she won't be around anymore. Because let's face it; if by some bizarre twist of fate that her and Jake actually start any kind of real relationship; that is really going to suck for me; I will be the pathetic cripple that pines after his best friends girlfriend.


	2. 2 Without You

**SONG** _ **:**_ Without You __ **ARTIST** _ **:**_ Breaking Benjamin

 _ **"...All I have is one last chance...I won't turn my back on you...Take my hand, drag me down...If you fall then I will too..."**_

A knock on my bedroom door at nine fifteen in the morning wakes me from a dream I wasn't ready to wake up from. I was dreaming that it was early; probably like six in the morning or so; and I was running through the sleepy streets; my entire body was covered in sweat, my legs and my chest were burning from exertion but I felt amazing.

"Go away dad!" I groan as I put my pillow over my face.

"There is someone here for you Landon." Dad's voice sounds unsure but why? It's only Jake; why would dad sound so unsure. Shit what if it's not Jake; what if it's my mother? Two weeks ago when I talked to my mom on the phone she had mentioned something about making a trip to see me before my birthday. She said she would be able to visit on my actual birthday because her and her boyfriend were going on a cruise.

"I need to get dressed." I shout from behind my pillow. My bedroom door opens and when I pull my pillow off my face I see my dad standing at the end of my bed with a smile on his face. When he smiles I can see his dimples; the same dimples that dent my cheeks when I smile. I look so much like him; pretty much every feature that I see in the mirror I have received from my father except for my green eyes; those I got from my mother.

"Hurry up and get dressed then boy and put on a nice shirt."

I groan loudly as I use my arms to lift myself into a sitting position before I rub the sleep out of my eyes. As I run my fingers through my messy hair I look at my father in confusion; why is he grinning at me like that?

"Why do I need to put on a nice shirt?"

"Don't you want to make a good impression?" Dad's grin grows wider and I can see the look of amusement in his grey eyes. Oh for the love of god! Dad must be trying this again and by this I mean; there must be some little girl out there from his church group that he somehow convinced to come and spend time with his poor crippled son. I wonder if he paid this particular girl; yes he actually paid a girl named Nancy twenty bucks to come over and watch a movie with me once. Nancy only sat on the couch across from me for about ten minutes before she freaked out and threw the twenty dollars at me before she bolted from the house. I was pissed at my dad for over a week because of that; I told him I didn't need him to pay any fucking church girls to watch a movie with me; I told him that I would never forgive him if he ever brought another girl around like that again. Yet here I am dragging my dead legs over the side of my bed to get up and put on a nice shirt. Dad means well and when he looks at me like that I can't be pissed; the look on his face makes me want to get dressed and go meet this church girl. His eyes are filled with hope; something I haven't seen in his eyes for what feels like a long time.

"Is this shirt okay dad?"

"It's just a black t-shirt; don't you have something nicer than that?"

"Dad it's Saturday morning and I just got up; at least it's a clean shirt."

"Yeah okay; I guess you're right. Besides the black makes your green eyes shine."

"Christ dad! What is wrong with you?" My voice is high pitched as I look at him in shock; when I see him chuckling I realize that he was only messing with me and I can't help but chuckle a little myself as I make my way to my bathroom.

"You shouldn't curse so much boy; you are far too intelligent to fill your vocabulary with words like that."

"This coming from the man that calls the lawnmower vile names just because it won't start." I joke as I lean against the counter and comb my hair; I run my comb under the water to tame my messy curls further and after a minute I just give up all together. The only thing that will tame my wild curls would be a shower but the impatient look I am getting from my dad tells me I need to just brush my teeth and get out to the living room to greet this new church girl.

"You could use a haircut; I can take you to town tomorrow afternoon if you want."

"Nah, that's okay dad; I usually go with Jake to get my hair cut. What's her name dad?"

"Huh?"

"The girl that is here to see me; what's her name?"

"Oh…um…you know I don't think she told me her name and I guess I was just so excited to get you out of bed that I forgot to even ask." Dad has a playful tone to his voice and he is still grinning like an idiot; what is wrong with him today? He is playing a game with me with this particular church girl today; fine if he doesn't want to tell me her name then I will just make him and her wait even longer for me to make my appearance. I know, I know I can be a difficult teenager just like the rest of them when I put my mind to it.

"Dad can I get a little privacy? I want to brush my teeth and use the bathroom before I go out there."

"Uh, yeah sure bud, no problem. Don't take too long though; we wouldn't want her to leave now would we?"

"I will be right out." I watch him close my bathroom door and I lean against the wall as I close my eyes. What I really wanted to tell my dad was that yes, yes I did want this girl to leave but I am too much of a softy. Well a softy and also I am plagued with the same pathetic hopefulness that my dad had in his eyes only a few minutes ago; I am hopeful that just maybe this girl will be different from the other ones. Maybe this girl will actually enjoy my company and want to talk to me or even just set beside me while we watch some shitty movie. I get so lonely sometimes; dad works too much and Jake has a job and other friends to keep him busy most days. Now Jake has Faith to keep what little bit of extra time he does have to spend time with her. I feel sad when I think about Jake not being around so much but at the same time his absence lately might make it easier when he goes off to Stanford after graduation. This summer is going to be tough on me; at least when we were in school I could talk to people. Most of the time people acted weird around me and asked me stupid questions about my accident but at least it's some form of interaction with another human being.

I decide to get in the shower after all and twenty minutes later I am looking at my refection in the mirror. I have my too-long brown curly hair slicked back and I am practicing my smile and different ways of how I might greet this new girl when I finally quit being a chicken and go out to meet her. I wonder if I should put on a different shirt? No, no this black t-shirt is fine; it's Saturday morning and it's my damn house anyway. Why should I waste my time getting all dressed up for some church girl that will probably bolt the minute she sees me hobbling into the room on my crutches. My mood and my emotions are all over the map as I make my way towards the living room; part of me wants to just go back to my room and hide under the blankets for the rest of the day. I don't do that because then dad will accuse me of slipping again; slipping back into my depressive state that I was in after the accident. Can you blame me for being a little depressed after I found out I would never be a normal teenager again?

When I get into the living room I find it completely empty; good maybe she got tired of waiting for me and left already. When I hear my dad laughing in the kitchen and hear him talking to someone I realize that; shit, she's still here. Might as well get this over with. When my crutches hit the hard wood floor of the kitchen with a loud thump my dad and the girl turn to look at me. When I see Faith sitting at the kitchen counter my stomach does a flip so hard that I almost gag at the sensation. What the hell is she doing here? I can't move; my already dead legs refuse to take me from the spot I am standing in and my mouth is hanging open as I watch her jump down off the stool and make her way towards me. She has a warm smile on her face and her thin arms hug my waist tightly; her long black hair is tied back into a messy bun and she doesn't have any of her black make-up on like she did yesterday. She's wearing a pair of black legging and a baggy black sweater that hangs off her shoulder; revealing her pale skin.

"Good morning Landon." She keeps her hands on my waist as she looks up at me with her brown eyes.

"G-good morning. Wh-what are you d-doing here?" I embarrassingly stammer as her hands remain on my waist and her large brown eyes look at me expectantly.

She lets go of me and takes a small step backwards and looks me up and down quickly before looking in my eyes.

"I came to see you silly. Since when do you stutter? I didn't notice you had a stuttering problem yesterday."

I clear my throat and avert my eyes away from her; not because I don't want to look at her but because I can feel my dad's eyes on the two of us standing in the kitchen as we have our shaky conversation.

"Dad, don't you have something else to do?"

"Oh…um…yeah I do actually. I have a few errands to run so I will just go run those errands and leave you two kids alone." Christ my dad just winked at me! He is so embarrassing; I know Faith saw him wink at me because she giggled and her cheeks turned pink as she quickly looks at the floor to avoid my dad's eyes.

"Are you going to the grocery store dad?" I ask in the attempt to make this uncomfortable fog that is in the kitchen lift slightly.

"Yeah, did you need me to pick you up anything special?"

"Nothing special just more cereal; we are almost out."

Dad walks over and places his hand on top of Faiths shoulder as he grins at me; I could literally hit him with one of my crutches right now because of how embarrassed he is making me feel right now.

"Landon would eat cereal for every meal if I let him get away with it."

"Well looks like that's another thing we have in common then Landon; I could eat cereal every day too." Her warm smile is telling me that my dad isn't even making her uncomfortable.

"Teenagers." My dad mumbles as he grabs the car keys and leaves the house. I hobble over to the cupboard to get a coffee cup down and I keep my back to her as I ask her:

"Did you want a cup of coffee?"

"You dad already gave me some coffee; do you need help with that or anything?"

I can't help the grin on my face as I turn around and use my skills to carry my coffee over to the counter; where I place my cup right beside hers as I narrow my green eyes at her.

"You're sitting on my stool you know."

She doesn't say anything to my attempt at a joke; instead she just moves to the other stool. I take my seat beside her and begin to intently study my cup of coffee that sits in front of me. I look at her half empty cup of coffee that sits right beside me and can't help but notice the heavy amount of milk in it. Feeling playful I lift up her coffee cup and take small sip before I grimace and place her coffee in front of her folded hands on the counter.

"Do you always drink coffee with that much milk and sugar in it Faith?"

"I don't really like coffee but the way your dad offered it to me made me feel like I would hurt his feeling if I didn't accept his offer."

"He has that effect on people. So you never answered my question."

"What question was that?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I did answer your question; I told you I was here to see you."

"Yeah but why?"

"Do you want me to leave? I'm sorry I just showed up here like this. I would have called or texted you but I didn't have your number."

She gets off her stool and starts to walk towards the door to leave; I have to stretch to grab her wrist to keep her from walking away further.

"Please don't leave." Damn it I sound so pathetic. She looks down at my hand as it grips her wrist and I quickly let her go as I mutter an apology for grabbing her in the first place. She just smiles and takes her seat again before she takes a sip from her coffee and makes a strange noise as she wrinkles her nose.

"Ewe it's cold."

"Do you want me to get you some more?"

"No, I don't even like coffee anyhow."

"Do you want something else then?"

"No thank you."

"Does Jake know that you are here?"

"No, why?"

"He's my best friend and I don't…"

"I'm not even dating him Landon; we just hang out sometimes."

I look at her and her brown eyes almost look angry as she stares back at me. This is awkward.

"Why do you hang out with him?"

"What happened to him being your best friend?"

"He is…what do you mean…I'm confused."

She throws her head back in laughter; the sound is music to my ears but I still feel confused.

"The way you sounded when you asked me why I hang out with Jake just sounded like you are appalled by the idea of it."

"Sorry." I mumble.

"I like fighting with him I guess."

"Fighting?"

"Yeah we call each other names and it's funny; plus sometimes he feeds me. Those reasons sound really stupid now that I have said them out loud actually."

"But you two kiss and stuff." Jeez I sound like an idiot.

"Kiss and stuff?" She raises her eyebrows at me.

"Well yeah; you know what I mean."

"No I don't actually; what has Jake told you?"

"Come on Faith; we're dudes; he tells me pretty much everything."

"Men are such pigs."

"I didn't say I enjoy listening to the things he tells me."

"I take what I said back then; Jake is a pig."

"That's not very nice you know. Jake just wants to have fun and I think with the right girl he will lean to settle down a little bit."

"There he is; there is the protective friend I met last night."

"Do you find amusement in confusing other people Faith?" I snap.

"No…I'm sorry Landon; I didn't mean to make you mad."

"Why are you here?" My voice is low.

"I really liked talking to you last night; I just thought maybe you might have liked talking to me too but maybe I was wrong. I think I might have made a mistake coming here so I should just go."

"No! Please don't go! I do…I did…I mean I do like talking to you and I want you to stay and talk to me it's just…" I trail off when I see her eyes fill with the look of sadness at my pathetic plea.

"So let's talk then. I get why you might feel a little strange when it comes to Jake but you should know that you don't need to worry about that. I don't think I want to spend any more time with him; I don't want him kissing me stuff and as much as it might seem fun to banter back and forth with him; that is really all we ever do. Jake doesn't even talk to me; he doesn't tell me things about himself and he never asks me anything about myself; hell he doesn't even know my last name. Most of the time he ignores me all together; at least until he…well anyhow." She trails off and bites at her lip.

"So you just fight with him and let him…well never mind… even though you don't really want him to; what else do you do with the rest of the time you spend with him? Surely you don't spend half a day with him and only manage to call each other a couple of names and you know..."

"He talks about you." She whispers.

"Seriously? What do you mean he talks about me?"

"He talks about you all the time. He has told me some funny stories about the two of you growing up together. He told me that you are his best friend and that he is really going to miss you when he goes off to college. He said he would make an effort to come and see you as much as he can when he is away. I feel like I know you already because of all the things Jake has told me about you; I think that's part of the reason why I kept hanging out with him. I enjoyed listening to him talk about this friend of his; when he asked me to go to the concert part of me wanted to blow him off but then he said you were going and I couldn't wait to meet you."

I don't know what to say to her right now; the way she is looking at me makes me feel like I'm under a microscope right now. I can only imagine some of the so-called funny stories that Jake must have told her; that doesn't bother me but why didn't he tell her about my accident? Maybe he did tell her, maybe he told her about Amanda too and how she broke my heart. I was surprised at how badly Jake took my and Amanda's breakup; he was almost as heartbroken as I was. He told me he thought Amanda and I were going to get married and start a family and live happily ever after.

I shuffle off the stool and begin to make my way out of the kitchen but I feel her small hand press against my lower back.

"Where are you going?" She asks.

"I need to go lay down for a little bit; my spine hurts from those shitty seats at the concert yesterday." I mumble to her as I continue to go to my room. I have the most confusing feeling in my chest right now. On one hand I don't want her to leave but on the other hand I feel like I want her to go away and never come back again. I somehow feel violated by the fact that Jake told her so much about me; yet he never mentioned that to me; he never even talked about Faith; he really only told me that he was hanging out with some girl he met at a rave. After I settle into my bed and put my crutches in their usual place I look up to see Faith standing in my door way.

"Do you want me to get you anything before I leave?" Her question sounds so sad as her brown eyes look at my pathetic body lying on my bed.

"No I don't need anything; I just needed to lay down for a little bit. You don't have to leave if you don't want to but I understand if you want to."

She smiles widely and does this weird little skip into my room before hopping onto the end of my bed where she squeezes my big toe between her small fingers. I fight the urge to giggle with delight; there is a girl in my room and she is sitting on my bed. Damn the urge to giggle is replaced with nervousness as the smile slips from her face when she looks up at me.

"Do you hurt all the time Landon?"

"No…just sometimes. I'm supposed to take these pills the doctor gave me every day to manage the pain but they make me feel funny so I don't take them unless I am having a really bad day."

"Can I ask you a stupid question?"

"Sure." I chuckle when I see her chewing at her lip; she is nervous; this should be a good question then if she is nervous.

"Can you feel anything…like your legs and stuff…I'm sorry I guess I am just trying to understand more about all of this…you know what never mind…I'm an idiot."

"No it's okay…I think I understand the question. My legs have some feeling in them but they mostly feel numb all the time…kind of like how your hand will fall asleep and it gets all numb…that's how my legs feel most of the time…the numbness is why I won't ever be able to walk without the crutches…I get a lot of pain in my spine and sometimes my legs hurt too. It probably sounds strange but I actually like it when my legs hurt…because at least then I feel something other than numbness in them."

"So you can feel my fingers on your toe?"

"Yeah I can feel that…not like before my accident but I can feel you touching me. Watch…see I can even move them." I say as I move my foot from side to side as I wiggle my toes.

"Wow! That's…pretty cool actually…are they numb too or is it just your legs?"

"They get a little numb too from poor circulation but the problem isn't my legs or feet; the problem is in my spine. I thought Jake told you all about me; didn't he explain all this to you?"

"He never really talked about that stuff…I mean he told me that you used crutches to walk but he didn't tell me why and when I asked him he just changed the subject. If it makes you feel any better I don't think the reason why he wouldn't talk about that stuff was because it embarrassed him or anything…shit I am rambling…sorry Landon."

"Jake doesn't feel the need to talk about my crippled body because he is one of the few people that actually cares about me; Jake still thinks of me as the same person that I was before my accident. He isn't ashamed of me he just…I guess he just feels like my disability isn't the most interesting thing about me to talk about. He prefers to tell people storied about our childhood instead; that's why he will always be my best friend."

"You have really pretty eyes."

"What?" Does this girl have ADD or something? We were talking about Jake and all of the sudden she tells me I have pretty eyes.

"I wanted to tell you that last night."

"You wanted to tell me I have…pretty eyes? That's kind of weird you know? I'm a dude and dudes don't have pretty eyes."

"Well you do; I think you do anyhow. Who says dudes can't have pretty eyes?"

"Dudes; dudes say that…but I guess…thank you…thank you for the compliment…if that is what you meant it as I mean."

"It wasn't really a compliment; just an observation I guess; like when I told you that you smelled good but you're welcome though. God I am being so weird today; you make me weird Landon. I am never weird and you make me weird; I'm not sure I know how to feel about that." She trails off as she begins to chew at her bottom lip.

"It's okay most people feel weird around me."

"I don't mean it like it's a bad thing…just something I'm not used to feeing I guess."

"You have pretty eyes too."

"Me? My eyes are just boring brown; I'd kill to have your green eyes and your dimples too; I'd kill to have those dimples."

"Wow! Are you flirting with me? I only ask because it's been a long time since a girl flirted with me and I'm not sure that is what you are doing right now so if it's not; then save me from embarrassing myself further please."

She laughs that hearty, natural laugh that I find myself enjoying more each time I hear it and I chuckle when she swats my foot with her hand as her cheeks turn red.

"Way to call me out like that Landon; wow I am totally blushing right now; I never blush."

"I will take your blushing as a yes to my question then."

"I guess I was flirting with you. Cut me some slack here though Landy; you are a good looking boy and I think you are lying to me when you say it's been a long time since a girl has flirted with you. Girls must flirt with you all the time."

My heart skips a beat when she calls me Landy; the way she said it made me think she likes the way my name sounds in her mouth. My teenage hormones are in over drive right now because of this girl sitting on my bed.

"I don't lie. The last girl that ever even came close to flirting with me was probably my ex-girlfriend. Before my accident girls flirted with me all the time but I had a girlfriend so I always just ignored their come-ons."

"From what Jake has told me about Amanda it sound like it's a good thing that she is your ex."

"It is actually; I didn't always feel that way but I am glad that she is my ex now. Amanda was the first girl I fell in love with but she changed so much that by the time she broke up with me; she was a completely different person."

"She broke up with you? Jake made it sound like you broke up with her."

"That sounds like him. He can be so overprotective of me sometimes. Amanda dumped me when she found out I wouldn't be able to walk anymore."

"What a bitch…oh sorry; I shouldn't have said that; I don't even know her."

"It's okay you don't have to be sorry…Jake calls her a bitch all the time and it doesn't bother me…actually he always refers to Amanda as the 'shallow bitch' whenever she comes up in conversation."

"Good…I'm not sorry then…I agree with Jake she is a shallow bitch; you are better off without someone like her around."

"Jake has another name for her too."

"Oh really and what would that be?"

"He calls her the 'mind fucker' sometimes."

"Why?"

"Because that's what she does…or I should say did to me…she won't do that to me anymore; I can't let her tear me down more than I already am. I have some dignity left after all."

"What did she do to you?" Her words sound almost angry or protective even and her brown eyes are locked on my face.

"She came back to me after she broke up with me…three times actually…every time was the same…every time she would come over crying and saying how much she missed me…but she would always change her mind the very next day…after the last time I told her to stay away from me. I changed my cellphone number so she would stop texting me and so far it's been almost eight months since she has mind fucked me…well until yesterday anyhow."

"Yesterday? What happened yesterday?" There's that protective tone again. My mind feels torn between thoughts of laughing at her almost feral words and pulling myself up to grab her in a tight hug.

"She was at the concert with her boyfriend…she tried to talk to me and at first I was that pathetic idiot all over again when I first saw her but I was proud of myself when I walked away from her."

"Good for you Landy! Just for the record I don't think you are an idiot and I don't think you are pathetic."

"Oh! Before I forget; I wanted to tell you how impressed I was with you last night."

"Impressed? Why?"

"I was watching you at the concert and I noticed that you sang along with all the songs; I think you might know the lyrics better than I do."

"Oh…I didn't realize you were paying so much attention to me…" Shit…I think I might have just creeped her out by telling her that I was watching her.

"I didn't mean to like stare or anything…it's just…well I kind of people watch; sorry if I creeped you out."

"No, no you didn't creep me out; I think it's kind of sweet actually."

"I don't know about sweet but it was cool seeing someone else that loves Death Punch enough to learn the lyrics."

"I do love them; some of the lyrics hit close to home for my you know."

"You should go without make-up more often you know; you are really pretty and all that dark make-up only hides your pretty face." Christ! Why did I just blurt that out?

"Now who's flirting?" She chuckles and I relax a little.

"I wasn't flirting I was just making an observation." I wink at her and when she smiles I smile back at her.

"That's why I wear all that make-up though; so I can hide." Her tone is serious.

"What are you hiding from?"

"People." She whispers.

 **AUTHORS NOTE:**

Thank you for reading and please remember to take a quick minute to tell me what you think…with love…N…


	3. 3 Next To Nothing

**SONG:** Next To Nothing **ARTIST:** Breaking Benjamin

 _ **..."You know I'll always be around...So now I wait...I know you'll love another day...Come and take my breath away...Look me straight in the face"...**_

"Does it work?"

"I don't know but I like to pretend it does." Her tone is more casual than her previous serious tone.

"Then why aren't you wearing your mask today?"

"Mask? You make me sound so mysterious Landon." She chuckles.

"You are mysterious. Are you going to answer my question or should we change the subject?"

"I don't feel like I need to hide from you. I know I told you I feel weird around you but I promise that weird feeling isn't a bad thing. I guess I feel like when I talk to you I am talking to a real person; real people are so rare anymore."

"Jake's a real person."

"Not around me he isn't."

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to sound so harsh it's just I feel weird having you here right now without him knowing about it."

"I can leave; I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"The thing is I might feel weird about the whole Jake thing but I really don't want you to leave. I want you to stay; I want to get to know you. I mean it's only fair; Jake told you all kind of shit about me but I don't know anything about you."

"What do you want to know?"

"Uh…shit you just put me on the spot like that…I guess something little; like what is your favorite color?"

"Lame."

"Yeah, yeah but I got to start somewhere." I chuckle.

"That's true…okay sorry…don't laugh…pink is my favorite color."

"Why would I laugh about that?"

"Look at me, I wear as much black clothes as I can, I dye my hair black, and with the exception of today I usually wear black make-up…you probably thought my favorite color _would_ be black."

"What color is your hair supposed to be?"

She lets out a small laugh and rolls her eyes before saying:

"Dark brown…a little darker than yours actually…but mine is flat and boring brown…I dye it black because then it looks shiny."

"Not to mention; if you didn't dye it black then I would clash with the rest of your…um…well black stuff."

"Right! I'm all about matching!" We both laugh.

"If your favorite color is pink then why don't you wear pink shit? Hell you could even dye your hair pink so you can match."

"Pink shit? You make me laugh you know that Landon…seriously though I guess all the black is part of the so-called mask that I wear…helps me hide better when I wear all black…pink would draw too much attention to myself…wow…this simple conversation about colors is making me feel things…I'm not sure I like that."

"Feel things? What do you mean?"

"I guess I never really analyzed my reasoning for hiding behind my mask before and now you have me analyzing those reasons…now I feel shit…shit that I don't want to feel I guess..." She trails of as her eyes grow distant.

"What are you hiding from?" I ask softly in an attempt to pull her attention back towards me.

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure if you want to but just for the record I think you would look pretty in pink shit."

Thank god she is laughing at my joke; I feel like our previous conversation might have touched on a subject that she isn't comfortable talking about.

"I'll be sure to wear a bright pink dress next time I come over then; I will even put pink bows at the end of my braided hair just to make you happy."

"Are you going to change into a five year old too Faith?"

"No! God Landon what am I going to do with you?"

"Nothing too bad I hope; I mean come on I'm already crippled over here; give a guy a break."

She stops laughing and her brown eyes are serious when she looks at me.

"Landon…" She whispers.

"Sorry I didn't mean anything by that; Jake and I joke around like that all the time so I guess it just came out. Next time huh? Do you plan on coming over here again?"

She doesn't answer my questions; she just sits there looking at me as she purses her lips. I wonder if my questions about whether or not she will return might have been a little too forward; she was probably only kidding around when she said the next time she came over she would wear pink. After almost a full minute of her staring at me; her mouth goes slack and her eyes shift from my face to the wall behind me. Another minute ticks by before she looks at me again.

"Look…um…there is kind of a specific reason why I came here today. I really did want to talk to you but I also wanted to…well to thank you for saying what you said last night. It really meant a lot to me that you stuck up for me when that asshole Tad called me names."

"You don't have to thank me for that; it was the right thing to do. I'm sorry if he hurt your feelings but try not to let it bother you too much; Tad is a douche bag to pretty much everyone."

"He didn't hurt my feelings; I'm used to people saying things like that to me so it doesn't bother me anymore. It was just nice hearing someone stick up for me. You didn't even know me when you stuck up for me which is more than I can say for Jake. So thank you Landon."

"You're welcome." I just leave it at that because I'm not sure what to say to her. The truth is, I might not have spoken more than ten words to this girl before standing up for her but it was still the right thing to do. The way she looked at me when she explained how much it meant to her that I said something to Tad makes me feel a strange sensation in my stomach. Her eyes are looking at the wall behind my head once again as I take the time to look at her. I nearly jump when I hear her voice.

"I kind of want to kiss you right now." She mumbles but I still heard her. She still won't look at me and her statement about wanting to kiss me makes my pulse quicken. I stay quiet as I wait for her to look at me and after a moment her brown eyes are on me again.

"So kiss me then." I say with surprising confidence.

"No. The moments ruined now; plus we both have coffee breath."

My heart is still pounding at the thought of her actually wanting to kiss me even after she changed her mind. I find myself pulling my body up to a sitting position as I awkwardly shuffle towards her at the end of my bed; she eyes me suspiciously but makes no attempt to move away from me. I place my fingers under her chin and lift her face to mine; where I brush my lips against the side of her mouth near her lips; testing her. Her pale hand lands on my face as she kisses my mouth and I embarrassingly moan at the feeling of her lips against mine; it's been almost a year since I have kissed a girl; kissing her feels amazing. My moan makes her pull away from our kiss and her brown eyes are somehow more alive when she looks at me.

"Sorry." I croak. Fuck I'm such an idiot.

"Well aren't you just a smooth operator Landy?" She says jokingly but her tone can't hide the blush on her sharp cheekbones. It means the world to me that she didn't comment on the pathetic moaning noise I made when she kissed me back. My lips are still tingling with the sensation of the contact with her soft mouth. Seeing the blush on her skin makes me think she liked the way I kissed her and I pull confidence that I didn't know I had out of my ass when I begin to speak to her.

"You said the moment was ruined but I like to make my own moments." My voice is low and rough; heavy with the sound of long forgotten seduction.

"Yes…I can see that. Is my face red? It feels like it's on fire right now."

I brush my fingers over her cheek as my green eyes burn into her brown eyes and I feel the corner of my mouth twitch up into a grin.

"Not red…just the perfect shade of pink…your favorite color looks good on you Faith."

She attempts to look casual as she shuffles her body a few inches away from me but the way her pulse pounds in her neck I get the feeling that I might actually be making her uncomfortable. I need to get a grip on my raging hormones right now before I end up scaring her off. Mild flirting is one thing but I'm sure the way I was looking at her suggested something much more intimate; if there ever is any kind of hope for this girl returning to this house then I need to back the fuck off. Besides the fact that I don't want her to leave or never return again; my brain keeps screaming at me for betraying my best friend; Jake is going to kill me if he finds out I kissed his girl.

"Hmm…I think maybe…shit…I probably shouldn't have kissed you." She says as I watch her as her teeth sink into her bottom lip with nervousness. What is she nervous about though? Does she regret saying she wanted to kiss me? Did kissing me feel gross or something? Is she sickened by the fact that she just kissed a crippled kid? Is she worried about Jake too?

"I was the one who kissed you remember? I'm sorry for being so forward and I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. Please say you will accept my apology Faith."

Her brown eyes go wide and she releases her lip from her teeth as she takes in my regretful words; my downcast eyes shift back to her face when she shifts her body towards mine. She's so close that her knee is pressed up against my thigh and her body is turned in the opposite direction of mine so that she is sitting beside me but facing me at the same time. Her pale fingertips are slightly cool as she rests them against my cheek; she has her head tilted to the side in thought as though she is trying to read my eyes.

"No, I didn't mean it like that at all; I just don't want you to think I'm some kind of slut or something. Jake…well I know there isn't anything serious between Jake and I but I still feel guilty about kissing you when I haven't had a clear conversation with him about our status."

"So kissing me didn't make your skin crawl?"

"No. Why would kissing you make my skin crawl Landon?"

"I…because of me being crippled and all."

"Wow…Attention: pity party alert; guest of honor Landon."

"Huh?" I am so confused right now.

"Now you have a deer in headlights look on your face. A few minutes ago you were smooth as silk and full of confidence but now you are acting like a scared puppy." She has the look of amusement on her face and I nearly flitch when her fingers slide from my cheek and into my hair where she grips my thick curls tightly.

"I don't mean to seem so confused but I am; it's been a long time since I have been around a girl like this. I know you think I was acting all smooth before but to be honest with you I think my raging hormones may have taken over. I didn't mean to sound like I was looking for pity or anything; it's just I really enjoyed kissing you and when you said you shouldn't have kissed me…I don't know…I guess I thought maybe I grossed you out or something."

"I love how you aren't afraid to say things to me; lets me know that you realize I would never judge you for the things you want to say. I mean most guys would never argue if a girl told them they were a smooth operator; most guys would just chock it up as a win and go with it but you just admitted to me that your hormones are out of control."

"Help me out here then please; you say you like my honesty; you say you like my eyes and my dimples; you think I smell good; you have your hands in my hair as we speak; yet you regret kissing me."

"I never said I regretted kissing you; I only said I probably shouldn't have."

"Why then? I don't think you are…sluty or anything…is it really Jake or is it something else?"

"It really is Jake; I need to have a conversation with him about all of this now."

"Why? We don't have to tell him about the kiss."

"No, we wouldn't have to tell him about the kiss if that particular kiss was the first and last one but…"

"But what?" I can't hide my excitement at the thought of her maybe wanting to kiss me again.

"That might have been the first time I kissed you Landon but I have a feeling that it will definitely not be the last time." My breath hitches when she uses her other hand to twist my lip ring between her fingers.

"Does that mean I might not be that out of practice?" I ask shyly.

"You aren't out of practice; trust me." A blush of color floods to her cheeks.

"No?" I whisper as my fingertips slide under her chin.

"No, not at all."

"Do you like the way I kissed you?" I inch my face closer to her.

"Yes…it's taking everything in me not to kiss you again."

"Why don't you want to kiss me again?" I whisper as I move a little closer; my breathing is coming out in small pants as I anticipate tasting her mouth again.

"I do want to kiss you again…but…"

"So kiss me then." I can't keep my eyes off her lips.

"I can't…it's not right…I already feel guilty."

"Me too…yet I still want to…yet I wouldn't stop you…in fact I would even kiss you back…I feel even worse because he's my best friend…shit…I feel like I might explode if I don't feel your lips on mine…"

Just before I can capture her mouth with mine; she jumps off my bed and moves far enough away from my bed that I couldn't reach her if I tried.

"We can't Landon; I'm really sorry that we already let it go this far but we can't."

"Relax Faith; it was only one kiss." I say dismissively to try to ease the tension in the room.

"I should probably get out of here." Her voice is low and she won't look at me as she begins to chew at her bottom lip.

"I understand if you want to leave but you really don't have too; I promise to behave from now on; in fact if you stay out of my reach then you are guaranteed to be safe from me because it's not like I can jump up and grab you or anything." I attempt to lighten the mood with a little joke; unfortunately I am having trouble hiding the disappointment in my voice.

"Stop that!" She snaps. Her brown eyes are full of anger when she finally looks at me. She is no longer chewing on her lip and she has her hands on her hips.

"Stop what?"

"Making fun of yourself. I get that you and Jake might think it's funny but it's really not."

"It's not that I think it's funny but what would you rather have me do; make a joke or be all down and depressed about it? You don't know me and you don't know how things were for me after I got home from the hospital. I had so much going for me; I was on the right path for my education; I had a girlfriend; I had tons of friends; I could fucking _walk_ …when I got home I wallowed in my own self-pity for too long. I stayed in my room; stayed in bed. I acted pathetic and helpless; I made my dad do everything for me…even shit he knew I could do by myself. It's probably my own fault that I don't have friends anymore because I pushed everyone away for too long. Even Jake was afraid to come around for a few weeks because I was so bad. You should just go…Jake is my best friend and I fucked up by kissing you…he deserved to know about this so whether or not you speak with him about this; I am telling him that I kissed you. Jake is all I have left…he's the one person that I can depend on…he's the one person that makes me feel fucking normal…he…means more to me then you will ever know…if it wasn't for him…I probably wouldn't…please just go home Faith."

"Probably wouldn't what? What did you mean if it wasn't for Jake; you probably wouldn't what?"

"Please go home Faith."

"Okay…I'll go home but just so you know; you are right; I don't know you Landy but I want to. I don't want to leave here knowing that I might not see you again. There's something about you; since the moment I met you, you have been stuck in my head and no one has ever affected me the way you do. Any time Jake would bring up your name; I couldn't wait to hear what he had to say about you. I know I just said that since I met you, you have been stuck in my head but the truth is; you have been stuck in my head for the past three weeks. Jake is your friend so I will give you the space to tell him what you feel you need to and then I will tell him my side of the story; I hope you might still…want to…I don't know…be my friend maybe."

I don't say anything to her; I just look at her and after a few minutes of silence she sighs and leaves my room. After a few deep breaths I shuffle back up to the top of my bed and rest my back against the headboard before picking up my phone to send out a text.

 _ **Me: What r u up 2 right now?**_

 _ **Jake: 6'1"**_

 _ **Me: Funny but seriously r u busy?**_

 _ **Jake: I should b a comedian.**_

 _ **Me: If ur busy its cool.**_

 _ **Jake: Settle down or I'm coming over there 2 shove 1 of ur crutches up ur ass. I'm just watching TV. What's up?**_

 _ **Me: Can u come over? I need 2 talk 2 u about something.**_

 _ **Jake: Am I in trouble?**_

 _ **Me: No but I might b.**_

 _ **Jake: Landon! Don't fuck around! R U having a bad day?**_

 _ **Me: Please just come over.**_

 _ **Jake: B there in 10.**_

 _ **Me: Thanks.**_

Six minutes later; Jake comes busting in my room with a look of panic on his face; his eyes dart wildly around my room. The panic in his eyes; his fast arrival; it all hits me and I am overwhelmed with guilt when I realize what he must be thinking.

"Jake I'm fine. I didn't mean to freak you out or anything; there is just something I need to talk to you about and I thought it would be best to tell you in person."

"Freak me out? Landy you scared the shit out of me! I hit Mrs. Stevens's mailbox on my way over here for Christ sakes."

"I'm really sorry Jake. Mrs. Stevens is going to be pissed; that's the second time you smashed her mailbox."

"Fuck that old bitch; all I care about it you. Are you sure you are okay? You said you were in trouble."

"I'm just fine Jake and I said I might be in trouble not that I was in trouble. You will be the one to decide that fate."

"What the hell are you talking about Landon?"

"First off; I just want you to know that you are my best friend and I would never want to do anything to fuck that up."

"Stop being a fucking drama queen and tell me what's going on."

"Faith was here today."

"Faith? My faith? What was she doing here?"

"She came to see me; she said she liked talking to me last night and that she wanted to get to know me better."

"So? Why would I care if she came over here? Of course she likes you Landon; you are a cool dude and she's not shallow like most of the whores that go to our school."

"Jake you act like you just want to have fun and do your thing; you say being in relationship is too much of a commitment and that you are too young to tie yourself down to one person but…"

"But what Landon?"

"The way you said the words: My Faith…the look on your face when you talk about her…I don't know…how do you really feel about her Jake?"

"Feel! I'll tell you how I feel about Faith; she gives good head and she lets me fuck her anyway I want too; other than that well she's kind of a bitch to me. I mean don't get me wrong I get a kick out of fighting with her but sometimes it gets old."

"Maybe you should stop fighting with her then; maybe if you would actually talk to her instead of fucking her or seeing who can spit out the best insult then maybe you might see that she really isn't a bitch after all." I'm shocked at how defensive I am being over a girl I barely know.

"Oh for Christ sakes! Did she come over here and tell you she is in love with me or some shit?"

"No. I told you she came over here to see me."

"Good for the both of you; now what the fuck does that have to do with me? Why did you scare the shit out of me and make me drive like an idiot to get over here just to tell me that she came over to talk to you?"

"It has everything to do with you because I…kissed her."


	4. 4 Medicate

**SONG:** Medicate **ARTIST:** Breaking Benjamin

 _ **..."...You tie me up...I've had enough...So medicate...Medicate..."...**_

"You kissed her? Seriously? Did she punch you in the balls or something?" The grin on his face confuses me.

"She kissed me back. I'm really sorry Jake."

"Why the hell would you be sorry?" He chuckles; confusing me further.

"You're my best friend."

"So; it's not like she's my wife or anything. I don't own the girl; she isn't even my girlfriend; she isn't even my type."

"You're not mad at me then?"

"No; I don't give a shit. Did you like kissing her?"

"Yes."

"Did she like kissing you?"

"As far as I know; I mean she wanted to kiss me again so that must mean she did right?"

"Wait; I'm confused. If you kissed her and she liked it then why didn't you kiss her again? Please tell me it wasn't because of me." His light brown eyes soften as the conversation takes a more serious turn.

"It _was_ because of you. She said it wasn't right that we kissed while she was involved with you."

"She said that?" Jake runs his hand over his unshaved face in an absentminded gesture as he shakes his head in disbelief.

"Yeah; she said she knows that you two aren't serious or anything and since you two never really laid out any ground rules so to speak then she needed to have a talk with you about your situation."

"What about you Landon? What do you think about all of this?" Sincerity is heavy in his tone. Normally Jake is always playful and sometimes annoyingly casual about everything but deep down he has a very serious side to him.

"I feel like an asshole for kissing my best friends girl. I am full of guilt because even though I knew it was wrong I still kissed her. Even after we kissed and talked about how wrong it was; I still wanted to kiss her _again_. If she wouldn't have got out of my bed then I would have kissed her again."

"You smooth fucker you; I can't believe you spend a half an hour with her alone last night and then bam you got her in your bed the next day. I worked on her for almost a week before she let me in her pants." There it is; there's that playful tone that I am so used to hearing from my best friend.

"I can't believe you are making jokes right now Jake."

"Why not? Listen to me Landy...listen closely...I. Don't. Give. Two. Shits...if you like her and she likes you then good for you man. Don't worry about me; there is a ton of pussy out there for me. I want you to be happy and if Faith makes you happy then that's all I care about. I will care if she hurts you though; she seems like an alright chick but to be honest I really don't know anything about her so just be careful okay."

"It probably doesn't matter anyhow...I think I might have scared her off."

"Why?"

"I kind of got shitty with her. I didn't mean to but things were kind of awkward because we kissed and I made a joke to try and lighten the mood; she snapped at me and told me to stop making fun of myself. I might have went a little overboard when I told her that I would rather make jokes than be all doom and gloom. I told her she doesn't know me and she doesn't know what I went through...I asked her to leave."

"I'll talk to her for you; she'll come back."

"I don't want you to do that. If she wants to see me again then I want her to come to that decision on her own; I don't want you to guilt her into it."

"I wouldn't do that; I don't need to guilt her into coming to see you. I only meant that I was going to tell her I didn't want to see her anymore; to tell her that if she likes you then she should...date you or whatever you two decide."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here Jake; I barely know the girl."

"Sounds like you know more about her than I do and you did make out with her already."

"I didn't make out with her it was just a kiss; there wasn't even any tongue; it ended before it even really got started."

"Yeah well let me tell you something Landon. I might not know a whole lot about that girl but what I do know for a fact is that she's a horny little thing. Half the reason why I never got to know her is because I was too busy fucking her; so you better start exercising that tongue of yours if you plan on starting something with her."

"Exercising my tongue?"

"Yeah and you should probably watch some lesbian porn to perfect your oral skills too. The girl likes to fuck and since your dick is broken then you are going to want to find other ways to get her off."

"You are so filthy." I say seriously but end up grinning when he starts to laugh.

"Look bud, I'm only trying to give you the inside scoop about her. She seems to be a pretty clean girl and all but you might want to tell her to wash that thing really good if you plan on putting your tongue anywhere near it; I mean you and I are tight and all but I wouldn't lick something you blew your load into unless I knew it was clean first."

"Christ! Will you shut up already?" I almost growl as my anger flares.

"Chill Landon." He chuckles.

"Say something does come out of all this; are you going to be okay with it?"

"Oh...that's your serious tone...okay no more fucking around. I promise you that when you two get married I will be on my best behavior."

"Jake..." I say with a sigh.

"It's cool Landon. Really; no worries."

"Well that's good but like I said it might not even matter anyhow. I doubt she will talk to me again after I was so rude to her."

"Nah; she gets off on that shit so you're good there man. Besides you already kissed her and with those luscious pink lips of your and those dimples; she will be knocking down your door in a day or two. Good thing you've got long fingers; you can always finger fuck the shit out of her."

"Damn it Jake! Be serious for a minute will you? I'm not saying that Faith is going to be my girlfriend or anything but what if she is? I can't have you talking shit like that all the time to me and I'll be damned if I can let you be rude to her either."

"Do you have any idea how hard that is going to be for me? Faith and I spit out endless insults to each other all the time; it's how we converse. I can see how serious you are about this by the way you are looking at me and I promise to do my best to watch my mouth from now on when it comes to her."

"Who knows maybe you might actually end up liking her; she's really funny and she is really very different from the way she looks."

"I know how funny she is but what do you mean she is different from the way she looks?"

"I get that she looks all Goth or Emo or whatever people call that look but it's just for show really."

"Maybe it's Emo-Goth?"

"Well this has been an interesting conversation." I say as I roll my eyes at him.

"Sorry bud; I get what you are saying and for your sake I hope you are right. I wouldn't want my best friend to have someone I can't stand for a girlfriend."

"Thanks Jake."

"Don't mention it; so since I'm already here is there any food in your fridge or should we just run down to Sonic?"

"I think dads cooking fried chicken for dinner; he should be getting home soon."

"Fried chicken takes too long; I'm hungry now. I'll be right back; I'm going to go make a sandwich or something."

I watch Jake leave my room and seeing that his blond hair looks like it could use a trim; I make a mental not to see when he's free so we can go get our hair cut at his aunt's shop.

When I wake up; the sun is just starting to set outside my bedroom window and there is a piece of paper on my lap. I lift it up to see Jake's sloppy handwriting.

I LEAVE YOUR ROOM FOR FIVE MINUTES TO MAKE A DAMN

SANDWICH AND YOU GO AND FALL ASLEEP ON ME. IT WAS

RAINING WHEN I LEFT SO I STOLE YOUR JACKET. I WILL GET

IT BACK TO YOU TOMORROW OR SOMETHING.

J

The smell of fried chicken coming from the kitchen tells me that my dad has made it home and I can hear him whistling as I make my way into the kitchen. I fight the urge to laugh when I see him dancing as he pokes the chicken in the pan with a fork.

"When did you get home dad?"

He spins around and waves his fork at me as he smiles.

"Not long ago. I didn't see your bedroom light on and I couldn't hear any noises from in there so I figured you were sleeping."

"Yeah I fell asleep. Did you see Jake or was he already gone when you got here?"

"Jake? I thought that Faith girl was here."

"She was but she left and then Jake came over."

"Oh...no, no Jake but I thought maybe the dirty dishes in the sink were from him. Honesty that boy needs to learn how to clean up after himself. You never leave dirty dishes in the sink and you have crutches; Jakes on the other hand is just a lazy brat."

"I'll wash his dishes dad; he probably was just trying to be quite."

"Stop making excuses for him. That boy always leaves messes when he comes over here. Don't scowl at me Landon...I'm not saying I don't want Jake around...I know he's your best friend...I am just pointing out that your friend is a slob."

"Like I said; I'll wash his dishes dad."

"It's already done. This chicken is done too; get a plate and I will give you some of it."

When dad and I get our food and take our places at the kitchen counter he just sits there grinning at me while I begin to eat my food. I put my fork down and after I swallow my food I narrow my eyes at him.

"Let's hear it already dad; I can see by the way you are looking at me you are about to explode from all the questions you want to ask me about the girl that was here to see me today."

"Where did you meet her?"

"At the concert last night but it wasn't until we went to Sonic afterwards that I really even got to talk to her. Jake had to run home and unlock the house for his mom and I stayed with Faith; we talked the whole time Jake was gone."

"Wait a minute...is she Jake's girlfriend or something?"

"Sort of but not really."

"Careful son. You know the old saying: bros before hoes."

"Dad!"

"It's just something people say but you know what I mean Landon. Jake's your friend and you don't want to let some girl mess up your friendship."

"You seem like you have this all figured out don't you dad? How do you know that Faith and I aren't just friends? How do you know that you aren't just making a big deal out of nothing right now?"

"Oh please! I wasn't born yesterday Landy. I saw the way you looked at that girl and I also saw the way she looked at you; the way she hugged you; the way she kept her hands on you longer than she needed to. The girls hot for you kid; don't pretend you didn't notice."

"I kissed her." I blurt out.

"You did?" My day has a surprised look on his face. "That's a little fast isn't? You know what forget that last questions; you teenagers nowadays seem to let your hormones control you. Did she kiss you back?"

"Yeah but then we both decided that it was wrong because of Jake and all."

"Are you going to tell Jake about this?"

"I already did. He's okay with it; he wasn't serious about her anyway."

I watch my dad's face turn down into a scowl before he takes a bite of his food. I continue to watch him as he eats his food; I can tell he has something he wants to say and is just thinking it over before he does. When he closes his eyes and sits his fork down he exhales a small sigh before looking at me once again.

"Did you believe him?"

"Huh?"

"Did you believe Jake when he told you he was 'okay' with you moving in on his girl?"

"Yes, of course I did. Why wouldn't I believe him?"

"Look bud, I know Jake. That kid loves the shit out of you and he would do literally anything for you so..."

My dad trails off but I managed to fill in the empty words that he didn't speak.

"Jake wouldn't do that would he? I mean there is no way he would just...hand her over to me on a silver platter just because I like her. No...I believe him...he said he wasn't into her; he said she wasn't even his type; he said he only hung out with her because she..." Now it's my turn to trail off.

"Puts out? Is that what you were going to say?"

"Dad! Don't say shit like that please."

My father begins to laugh a little too hard at his bold words and my surprised reaction; I end up rolling my eyes at him and scarf down the rest of my food so I can get away from him.

"Slow down Landon; you are going to choke." He chuckles. I shoot him a dirty look but I slow down my eating and after I swallow the food in my mouth I set my fork down and turn towards him.

"Just...don't okay; don't say things like that about her."

Dad gives me a soft smile and nods his head in understanding. "Your old man might be a little out dated but I still know how you teenagers are these days. In my day you didn't even hold a girls hand until probably the third date but you brats nowadays seem to jump into bed before you even know each other's names. I just hope with all the resources that are available this day and age that you younger crowd are at least being safe. How Jake doesn't have a few kids yet is beyond me; so that must mean he's not too stupid."

"Can we stop talking about this now dad?"

"Relax Landon. It's not like I'm giving you the sex talk or anything; you are almost eighteen so I think we are way past that by now. I'm just making conversation over dinner with my son."

"You need to find better dinner conversation dad." I roll my eyes as I get up off the stool and lift my plate to carry it to the sink. "Here, put your dish on top of mine and I will take it to the sink for you."

Dad sets his plate on top of mine and runs his hands through his hair. "Do you want me to get the water started for you then?"

"No, I can do it but can you do something with the oil in the frying pan; not sure I am coordinated enough to take care of it."

"Sure kid."

It takes me an hour to wash the dishes and wipe the counters off before I turn the kitchen light out and go into the living room to watch some TV with dad. The first time dad insisted I wash the dishes I thought he was making a joke because surely he was expecting too much from me. He wasn't joking though and after two and a half hours and two broken glasses and one broken plate I managed to finish the job. Dad sat at the counter the entire time and kept pushing me to continue and finish the job. I cursed at him; I yelled at him; and by the time I was finish I was so exhausted that I ended up crying while I wiped the counters off. Dad gave me a hug and a pat on the back and told me that I needed to learn to push myself a little bit. At the time I was so angry at him for making me do it; normal people could have gotten the job done in ten minutes instead of my two and a half hour ordeal. That was almost a year ago and now I can work my way around the kitchen like a pro; well a pro on crutches but still I get the job done.

Looking back on how much dad pushed me and all the mixed emotions I went through as I attempted to do something that comes so effortlessly to other people; I was proud of myself for completing the seemingly simple task without giving up. It's funny how a simple chore that I do a few times a week has helped me in other ways. Being able to make my way around the kitchen while carrying a glass of water or a plate of food while using my crutches has given me enough coordination that I can pretty much do most things without help from anyone.

As I sit on the couch pretending to watch some crime scene show; I find myself thinking of all the things that I have overcome since my accident. The challenges I have met and mastered make me not only proud of myself but thankful to my father and to Jake as well. Jake tends to coddle me a little more than he should but he also pushes me. His suggestion to go to the gym a couple of times a week to strengthen my upper body has also helped me with the everyday task that most people don't even think about. It gives me a warm feeling in my chest when I think about how much my dad and my best friend care about me. I glance over at my dad with the intentions of expressing my gratitude to him but find him sleeping with his head propped up against his fist. I finish watching the show that is on the TV with little interest before deciding to go to my room to listen to music and draw before I feel tired enough to go to sleep.

I don't have a favorite genre of music because it depends on my mood when I choose to listen to music. I love to listen to music while I draw because the music gives me inspiration and sometimes the music finds its way onto the paper as my hand seems to have a mind of its own. Going to the Five Finger Death Punch concert yesterday gave me my fill of the heavy music that I love but right now I want something slower. Before I can second guess myself; I push play on my IPod and the sweet and haunting voice of Lana Del Rey begins to fill my bedroom. The black marker in my hand begins to glide across the page without much thought in my head.

I focus on the music that surrounds me and find myself mumbling the lyrics to the song 'West Coast' as the ink begins to stain the page in front of me. Halfway through the song 'Black Beauty' I realize just what it is that I am drawing; Faith's long hair flows over her shoulders and the black streaks that I have drawn down her cheeks show that she is crying. I still my hand and look down at the drawing and find myself confused by it. Why would I draw her? Why would I draw her crying like this? I give up on finishing the drawing and shove my sketchbook into my dresser and lay down in bed with a deep sigh. I wish I could show the drawing to Jake to see if he could make sense of it; Jake always manages to be able to interpret the drawings that I can't seem to understand. For some reason I decide that it would be best not to show him this particular drawing; I don't know why but for some reason I think maybe I don't want to know what drawing a crying Faith might mean.


	5. 5 Dance With The Devil

**SONG:** Dance With The Devil **ARTIST:** Breaking Benjamin

 _ **..."...Close your eyes, so many days go by...Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right..."...**_

I spend a fitful night attempting to get some sleep but between taking a long nap yesterday and Faith making her way into my dreams; I only manage to get a couple of decent hours before my alarm goes off at nine. I get dressed in a pair of grey sweat pants and a plain white t-shirt and make my way into the kitchen to get some cereal. I find Jake and my dad already eating when I enter the kitchen.

"Morning bud." Dad says with a small smile and I just nod at him as I make my way to the counter to pour myself some cereal. Putting the milk back into the fridge I turn to see Jake standing at the counter with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"You get your cereal and I got your coffee."

"Thanks Jake."

I take my seat at the counter just as my dad gets up to carry his plate to the sink. He looks good in his button down shirt and khakis.

"Off to church then dad?"

"Sure am; I need to get there a little early today. I told Pastor Sue I would set up the tables for the after service lunch. You boys should make yourselves presentable and go with me."

I steal a quick glance at Jake and see the grimace on his face that I imagine matches my own and fight the urge to laugh.

"Um...thanks for the offer dad but Jake and I are going to the gym today."

"Yeah I figured that's why this pain in the ass showed up here at eight-thirty this morning."

"I said I was sorry Mr. Styles and I cleaned up the coffee grounds you spilled all over the floor." I shoot Jake a confused look as my dad chuckles from across the room. Jake just shrugs his shoulders at me and shoves a bite of his peanut butter toast into his mouth to hide his grin. I turn back to my dad to see him smiling at the two of us.

"Jake Anderson; how many times have I told you to call me Henry? You make me feel old when you call me Mr. Styles. I have known you since you were eight years old so I think the formality is pointless don't you think son?"

"Son huh? Can I start calling you dad now?" Jake asks in amusement.

"Don't push it kid; you're not too big to have the hose turned on you."

The three of us end up laughing loudly as we remember the time my dad did in fact chase Jake out of the yard with the hose. My dad's sister; my aunt; was here for a visit when we were eleven years old and my cousin Tricia had just turned thirteen. Tricia was out back trying to get a tan in her skimpy bathing suit and my dad caught Jake hiding behind the trash cans with his hand down his shorts as he watched her. At the time dad was pissed and Jake was embarrassed but it's funny now.

"I can run faster now Henry so get your hose old man."

"Yeah, yeah...I'll get you when you least expect it. You boys stay out of trouble and I'll see you later Landon."

"Wait! I want to know why Jake had to clean up coffee grounds off the floor."

"Jake can fill you in on that; I got to get going or I'll be late."

I watch my dad leave the house and turn to Jake who has a shy smile on his face; this should be good.

"Alright Jake spill it."

"I didn't even mean to sneak up on him but when I heard him singing and saw him dancing I just couldn't resist."

"What do you mean you couldn't resist?"

"I snuck up behind your dad and grab ahold of him and started singing and dancing with him. He jumped so bad that he spilled half a can of coffee all over the floor. I'm surprised his shouting didn't wake you up; he was pissed."

"I'll bet but at least you cleaned up the mess."

"I didn't have much choice. He said either I clean it up or I had to get the hell out."

"He wouldn't have made you leave; I know dads a little tough on you but he loves you."

"Yeah I know...I can't wait to start calling him by his new nick name but I better wait a few days to let him cool off before I do."

"Nick name?"

"Oh! That's the best fucking part! You will never guess in a million years what song he was singing."

"It's hard to tell with dad. One minute he's jamming to Elvis Presley's gospel album and the next he's blaring AC/DC. I guess that's where I get my strange music taste from."

"Your dad was making an ass out of himself; he was singing 'Shake it Off' by Taylor Swift; fucking hilarious."

"Dear god, no!"

"I swear! Ask him yourself; I can't wait to start calling him Swifty from here on out."

"Swifty huh? That's actually pretty funny; I might even join in on that."

"You done eating yet? I hear the gym calling our names."

"Yep, all done; just let me wash my dishes and I'll be ready."

Thirty minutes later Jake and I are at the gym and as I use the machine to work my upper body; he jogs at a steady pace on the treadmill that is right in front of me. It's a little hard for me to watch him jog right in front of me; makes me a little jealous that I can't do that anymore. Jake's playful chatter from this morning seems to have disappeared because he has his earbuds in and I can see his lips moving as he mouths the words to whatever he is listening to. Instead of focusing on his light jogging; I decide to watch his mouth to see if I can pick out the songs he is singing as I continue my sets on the machine.

After almost an hour goes by I find myself covered in sweat and completely captivated in the little game I have created; when I see my name come out of Jakes mouth I shake my head and look up at him as I pull my own earbuds out of my ears.

"What did you say Jake?"

"I said stop staring at my lips Landon. I know how much you want to make out with me but how many times do I have to tell you that I don't want sex to get in the way of our friendship."

"Oh aren't you just hilarious today Jake. That's not what I was doing."

"You _were_ staring at my mouth."

"Yeah I was but I was only trying to figure out what songs you were singing."

"Any luck with that?"

"Got a few of them figured out. 'Du Hast by Rammstein', 'Bodies by Drowning Pool', 'Hail to The King by Avenged Sevenfold' and 'Enter Sandman by Metallica'."

"Good job; all those were playing. I'm surprised you figured out that many; I tend to only sing bits and pieces."

"Yeah but those are all easy songs to figure out with the exception of Du Hast; that one took me a while to figure out because I realized that you don't actually know the lyrics to it."

"Who the fuck can actually understand what those guys are saying; I just do my best to make the words coming out of my mouth sound close enough."

"Don't look at me; I have no clue what they are saying either."

"You about done for the day or you want to stay a little longer?"

"If you got shit to do we can go."

"I don't, I was only checking. We can stay here all day if you want; just don't overdo it bud."

"I'm fine Jake."

"Really because you look like shit to me?"

"I didn't really get much sleep last night; took too long of a nap yesterday."

"Yeah...too long of a nap and a night full of wet dreams will do that to you."

"Shut up Jake." I chuckle.

"Do you still at least get to have them?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sex dreams? I know you're broken and shit but I would hope you at least get to have interesting dreams once in a while."

I ignore his stupid comment and shuffle forward on the bench. "Can you hand me that towel so I can wipe the sweat off my hands before I try to get up?" Jake jumps off the treadmill and tosses me the towel before grabbing one of his own and sitting on the next machine over. When I glance at him I can see he has something to say to me; I cringe at what that something might be considering his previous comment.

"Why are you looking at me like that Jake?"

"What do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

"I don't have anything planned so whatever you are up for."

"You just want to hang out and watch movies or some shit?"

"Shouldn't we be outside doing something? It's too nice out to be sitting in the house."

"Alright smart ass, what do you suggest then?"

"We could go to the skate park for a couple of hours and then get something to eat."

"The skate park, really?" He groans.

"Sure why not? We haven't been there in forever. What's wrong Jake? Afraid that you lost your skills?"

"Pfft...look who your talking to Styles; I am the master of the board."

"That's the spirit! Let's swing by your house and grab your board and we can go show those little punks what a real skateboarder can do."

"We?"

"Well no, not we but I can be with you in spirit."

"I don't know if I really want to get on the board today; I kind of lost interest in it."

"Are you serious? You were the one who got me into skateboarding in the first place Jake. How come you lost interest in it?"

"I don't know; guess I just did." He shrugs his shoulders as though he is dismissing the whole idea but I noticed the sparkle in his light brown eyes when I mentioned the skate park. His indifferent tone can't hide the fact that he does in fact want to go and I can't help get a little pissed off at him.

"Don't do that Jake. It's bad enough you quit the football team because of me; don't stop skating too."

"I...I wasn't...I mean I'm not. I just thought maybe we could do something together today. If I'm on my board what are you going to do?"

"What I always did before; watch. I was never any good with my board anyhow and I just liked to watch you. You're good Jake; everyone ends up watching you. Come on what do you say?"

"Yeah...yeah okay that sounds good. You want me to take you home so you can shower first?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"You stink."

"So do you but I don't want to waste this sunny day so I can shower later."

"Yeah okay, let's get going then."

By lunch time I find myself completely relaxed while I listen to my IPod and watch Jake skate on his board. I was right, half the little punks here have stopped their own skating to watch Jake; everything that Jake has done on his board has been self-taught and no matter what he tries he ends up mastering right away; he's a natural and you can't help but watch him. Jake walks over and flops down on the grass beside me and wipes sweat off his face before stealing my bottle of water to take a much needed drink.

"You hungry?" He asks; slightly breathless.

"Yeah I could eat. Where do you want to go?"

"Let's just grab some walking Taco's from the food cart. I'm kind of on a roll today and want to get back out there."

I dig out a ten dollar bill and toss it to him. "Get me two and a bottle of water; and don't forget the hot sauce."

"You don't want to come along?"

"Little sore today; think I'll let you get it for me."

"You want to just go home?"

"No, I don't want to go home; I'm having a good time watching you."

"You sure? Did you at least take one of your pills?"

"Yeah I took one, but if I don't get some food in me soon then I'll be sick so go get me tacos." I grin widely at him as he jumps up and jogs over to the food cart to get our lunch. The smile slips from my face once his back is to me and a small pang of guilt rolls through my stomach. I shouldn't have lied to him about taking my pill; hell I don't even have any with me to take even if I wanted to. I decide to brush off my guilt because I know Jake would have made me go home if he knew I was in pain and didn't have any pills to take away my discomfort. I don't want to go home; it's a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the summertime and a kid my age should be outside enjoy it instead of laying in bed like a slug.

Jake and I eat our lunch and end up making fun of the little punks as they attempt to do simple tricks with their boards. I told Jake if he was a nice person then he would show them a few tricks and he laughed and said it was a shame he wasn't a nicer person and that those punks will just have to get out of his way and watch the master. After I finish my lunch I lay down in the grass and roll to my side to attempt to take some of the aching pressure off my spine as I continue to watch Jake on his board.

When I wake up to Jake calling my name; the first thing I notice is that the sun is no longer shinning bright and because of my sleepy state I think it's getting close to dark.

"I'm glad my skating skills lulled you off to sleep there Landon but if we don't get out of here you are going to get drenched."

"Drenched why?"

"Look at those clouds man; it's going to start pouring any minute now."

I glance up and sure enough the sky is full of angry dark clouds that are threatening to spill rain down on us at any given moment. I groan loudly as I roll onto my back and groan once more as I shift myself up off the ground with my crutches; I ignore Jakes outstretched hands as he silently offers to help me.

"I got it Jake."

"I know you do; I was just on standby. You okay bud? Maybe you should take another pill."

"Jake..." I groan.

"I know, I know...stop your growling already. I know you are a big boy and can take care of yourself but you are also a stubborn little fucker when you want to be. I don't get why you keep yourself in so much pain all the time. That's what the doctor gave you those pills for; so you don't have to be uncomfortable. You got the good shit too; I'd be high as fucking kite all the time if my doctor gave me those pills."

"You can have them. All they do is make me sick anyhow."

We are just pulling out of the skate park when the rain starts to hit the roof of Jakes car and his cell phone makes a small chime at the exact same time. The two of us glance at each other and end up laughing.

"That was weird huh?" Jake asks with a grin as he digs his phone out of his pocket.

"Yeah it was a little weird." I say as Jake hands me his phone to check his message for him. Ever since the accident Jake and I have an unspoken agreement about being more careful about driving and won't let something stupid like a text message cause an accident. I roll my eyes when I see the text message is from Tad.

"Who is it? What do they want?" Jake asks as he keeps his eyes on the road.

"It's Tad; he wants to know if you are going to Adams party tonight."

"Uh...tell him I haven't decided yet and that I'll text him later."

I type out the text and press send before looking a Jake. "Adam...Adam who?"

"I probably won't go to that party."

"Adam who?"

"Landy don't okay..."

"Oh...that Adam. Be sure to tell the A-team I said hello?" I grumble.

"I told you I probably wasn't going Landon, so I doubt I will be able to fulfill your request."

"If you want to go to the party then go. I know you like going to the keggers; just promise me you won't drive."

"You know better Landon; I would never drink and drive. There is no point talking about it anyhow because I'm not going."

"Don't not go because of me Jake; I get...I don't know...upset maybe when you don't do things just because of me."

"Come with me then."

"Yeah okay and you can run the camera while Adam and I run the train on Amanda."

"Fuck them! It's a huge house and there will be tons of people there; we probably won't even see them. I have been to a couple parties at Adams and I never even saw him or that little mind fucker there."

"I don't want to go. I mean maybe I would some other time but I'm sore and even though I slept at the park I'm ready to get a shower and go to bed. I'll just be a drag if you take me to the party with you. I think you should go and have a good time."

"Are you sure you don't want to go for a little bit? Faith might be there."

My head snaps to attention at the mention of the name that has been floating in my head all day. I glance over to see Jake grinning at me. I clear my throat before speaking.

"Have you talked to her yet? About you guys'...um...status and...well the whole kissing thing that happened between her and I yesterday?"

"I haven't talked to Faith since I dropped her off on Friday night."

"All the more reason for me not to go. You two need to talk and I don't want to sit there and look like a dumb ass while you do it."

"She might blow me off anyhow. She didn't give me a straight answer about going to the party when I mentioned it to her at the concert. Have you talked to her since she left yesterday?"

"No, we don't have each other's phone numbers; I guess I forgot to ask for hers before I kicked her out of my house."

"Don't sound so mopey over there Landon. I told you Faith gets off on that shit; give her time and she'll come around."

"I doubt it."

"Sure she will. She can't resist those pouty lips of yours now that she knows what they feel like."

"Do you have an umbrella in here or am I going to get drenched walking in the house?"

Jake rolls his eyes and lets out a small chuckle because I ignored yet another one of his comments before turning to look at me and saying: "Looks like you won't need a shower after all bud. Are you sure you don't want to go to the party?"

"I'm sure; you should go though."

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Jake...just go to the damn party."

"Okay, okay! Geez but we can still watch a movie first. It's early yet; the party probably won't even start till eight or nine and it's not even five yet."

"I don't really feel like watching a movie. I think I am just going to get a shower and grab some junk food and hide in my room for the rest of the day. Dad is having a couple of his church friend over to play cards and I don't want to be anywhere in sight when that happens."

"If you came to the party with me you would be completely out of sight."

I let out a sigh as I open the door to Jakes car as I prepare to get drenched by the heavy rain. "Maybe next time Jake; I really am pretty sore today."

"Yeah okay bud, get some rest and I'll see you on Tuesday. Mom's making me do yard work tomorrow and since I won't be getting out of bed till at least noon and will be suffering from a sure hangover I know it's going to take me the whole day to get the lawn mowed."

"See you Tuesday then and please be careful tonight Jake."

"No worries Landon."


	6. 6 Skin

_**..."...You're covered in my skin...I couldn't imagine anyone else..."...**_

I am completely soaked by the time I get into the house and I groan at the small puddle of water on the kitchen floor that's collected from the rain running off my clothes. I lean against the wall and strip off my wet clothes before making my way to the small bathroom off the kitchen to get some towels to clean the mess up. After I wrap a towel around my waist and clean the water and wet clothes off the floor; I grab a spoon and a jar of peanut butter before going to my room. I end up draining the hot water tank as I sit in the shower and let the hot water ease the dull ache in my spine before getting out and putting some shorts on and flopping on my bed. I am flipping through a magazine and eating spoonfuls of peanut butter when I hear a knock at my bedroom door. I glance at the clock and see that it's a little after eight before telling my dad he can come in. He smiles at me as he ducks his head around my half open door.

"Hey there kiddo; I wasn't sure if you were even home."

"Yep, I've been home since about five."

"It's really pouring out there isn't it?"

"Yeah, I got soaked trying to get into the house."

"Didn't Jake help you get in?"

"I don't need help dad. A little rain won't kill me you know."

"Don't scowl at me like that Landon. The guys are here to play cards if you want to join in on the game."

"I'm good here dad but thanks."

"Are you at least going to come out and say hello?"

"Do I have to?"

"Well no but it would be nice if you did."

"Maybe later; I'm reading right now."

"Yeah okay but don't eat all the peanut butter. You should make a sandwich if you are hungry; there's still some chicken in the fridge too."

"I'm not really hungry I just wanted something sweet to snack on."

"There's ice cream in the freezer."

"Dad! Don't you have people to entertain?" I huff.

"Geez, you're in a mood today."

"Sorry dad; I'm just trying to read this article."

"Well I'll get out of your hair then. Enjoy your peanut butter and maybe I'll see you after bit."

"Yeah, maybe."

I watch my bedroom door close and go back to reading my magazine but after almost an hour I find that I can't seem to concentrate on the damn thing and end up tossing it on the night stand before shifting off the bed to be a good little boy and make my appearance to my dad's church friends. I put a t-shirt on my bare chest and make my way to the kitchen where I find them playing cards.

"Hello Mitch, Aaron, hello there Pastor Linstrum."

Mitch and Aaron nod a polite hello and I catch my dad smiling proudly at me as Pastor Linstrum looks over at me with a squint to his eyes. "Landon you can call me Joseph you know; I'm not on duty and I'm only the assistant Pastor at the church anyhow."

"Just trying to be respectful sir."

"Henry, tell your boy here to stop with all the formalities."

"Joe's right son, there is no need to be so formal but thank you for showing my friends that I at least managed to teach you some manners."

"What game are you all playing?" I ask in the attempt to hide my slight embarrassment from my dad's friends.

"Five card stud; you want to join in on the game Landon?" Aaron asks with a tone that suggests that he doesn't actually want me to join in but is just being polite by asking. The slight grumpy mood I am in is almost enough to make me say yes just to annoy him but the truth is I know he is uncomfortable around me. His daughter LueAnne is in my grade and is also on the cheerleading squad with my ex Amanda who just so happens to be LueAnne's best friend. I used to spend a lot of time with Amanda over at LueAnne's to swim in their pool before my accident. So Aaron has more than one reason to be uncomfortable around me.

"No thanks but I'd like to watch for a bit if that's okay." I answer.

"Certainly." Aaron says in a clipped tone and I catch my dad shoot him a dirty look; it's enough to make me chuckle.

"Oh, I almost forgot, there is a message for you on the machine Landon."

"For me? Who would call the house phone for me?"

"It was Evan's little girlfriend...oh...she said her name but I can't remember."

"Melinda."

"Yeah, that was her name."

"What did she want?"

"She said something about wanting to know if you would help her make some CD's for Evan; something about it being some kind of surprise."

"Oh...yeah okay, I'll get ahold of her tomorrow or something. She mentioned something about it a couple of weeks ago but she told me to hold off until she decided if that was what she wanted to do."

"Is Evan still planning on marrying her right after graduation?"

"Yeah why?"

"Seems a little soon don't you think? I mean would you get married right out of high school? On second thought don't answer that because I would never let you do something so stupid."

"Evan isn't stupid dad. Him and Melinda have been dating for forever and they are going to the Navy after graduation; they want to get housed together and the recruiter told them they could only get housed together if they were married."

"Still, their parents can't be completely thrilled about the whole thing."

"I couldn't say one way or the other on that subject because I don't talk to them all that much anymore."

"Yeah well...I would be freaked out if you came home and told me you were getting married right after you graduated high school."

"I don't think you will have to worry about that happening dad. You usually need to have a girlfriend before you can get married and since I don't have one of those I think you should be safe."

"That's not completely true you know?"

I look over to see Mitch with a wide grin on his face.

"What do you mean by that Mitch?"

"Well you said you need to have a girlfriend to get married and well that's not true. You can just get on one of those computers and order yourself a bride from some other country and bam! Instant wife! Who knows, with these cell phones being so smart nowadays I'm sure there is even an app for that."

I just shake my head as the four of them laugh at Mitch's dumb idea about a mail order bride and I can't help but laugh a little along with them. A knock at the kitchen door at ten after ten makes my stomach drop in fear. A knock on the door at ten at night on a Sunday can't be good news and my first thought as I watch my dad go to the door is Jake. Before I can start to freak out too much over Jake being in some kind of trouble my dad turns around and smiles the strangest smile at me before turning back to the door.

"Get in here before you catch your death out there girl." My dad says with a surprised yet concerned tone to whoever is standing out in the heavy rain. For a split second I think it might me Aarons daughter LueAnne but when I see a streak of black hair over my dad's shoulder I make my way to the door faster than I thought I could.

"Faith? Is that you?"

"Hi...I'm sorry I'm getting water all over the f-floor." I just stand there with my mouth hanging open and look at her; she is completely soaked; like she's been swimming in the river instead of walking the short distance from the driveway to the kitchen door. I glance out the window and notice her little black truck isn't in the driveway.

"Where's your truck?"

"Landon don't be rude; go get the poor thing a towel or something; she's shivering." I snap out of my daze as I watch my dad put his arm around Faith in an attempt to stop her from shivering and just as I am about to turn to get a towel from the bathroom something about the way she looks at me tells me to get her the hell out of the kitchen and the hell away from the four extra sets of eyes in the room.

"Come to my room Faith and I will get you something dry to wear."

She crosses her arms in front of her and darts her eyes at me once before bolting down the hall towards my bedroom. I shoot my dad a questioning look before he shrugs and nods his head.

"Go on; go get her dry and warm."

I hear a few hushed whispers from my dad's friends that I choose to ignore as I make my way down the hall. When I open my bedroom door Faith lets out a small yelp of surprise as she stands in the center of my room dripping wet. Her teeth are chattering loudly and her pale skin almost looks blue because she is so cold.

"Go in the bathroom and strip down and I will get you something dry to wear; the towels are on the shelf."

She nods her head and disappears into my bathroom while I find one of my t-shirts and a pair of my boxer shorts for her to wear as shorts. I gently knock on the door and a few seconds later it cracks open and I can see Faith peering out from inside; the black streaks of mascara running down her cheeks makes me shudder because I can't help but think about the picture of her that I drew.

"I can't stop shaking; do you think it would be alright if I get under the hot water in your shower for a minute." Her normally strong voice is weak and shaky from her shivering and her brown eyes look larger than usual. It's strange how familiar she already is to me considering that I have only spent a few hours of actual time with her.

"S-sure...go right ahead."

The door closes in my face and I find myself in another daze that I get snapped out of when I hear my shower turn on. I look down to see the clothes I was going to give her when I knocked on the door but forgot to give them to her before she shut the door. I toss them on the dresser and go sit on my bed and wait for her to come out of the bathroom. Why is she here? Why did she give me that strange look in the kitchen? Where is her truck? Why the hell was she so wet and cold when she showed up at my house at ten at night? I let my mind wander to different places as I wait for her to come out of the bathroom and can't help but wonder if she had the chance to talk to Jake yet. Christ Landon keep your head out of the gutter! All I can think about is her soft lips against mine and I can't help but wonder what she looks like naked in my shower. The bathroom door opening snaps me out of my perverted thoughts and out walks Faith with nothing but a towel wrapped around her tiny body and it's enough to make me choke. Holy hell one flick of a finger and that towel would drop to the floor; revealing her naked body to my eyes.

"Um...Landon...did you have something I can wear?"

Her voice snaps me out of yet another perverted thought. "Oh...yeah, over there on the dresser. I hope those will be okay for you."

She grabs the clothes and disappears back into the bathroom without a word and a few short moments later she comes back out again wearing my boxer shorts and t-shirt. Once again I fight the urge to choke at the sight of her in my clothes; fuck she's hot! I watch her as she moves to the other side of my room and I let out a surprised gasp when she crawls under the covers next to me in the bed. I am kicking myself for not getting under the blankets instead of just sitting on top of them. I nearly gasp again when she shifts closer to me and snakes her arm around my waist as she lays her head on my lap.

"I'm so cold Landy."

"Move over for a minute so I can get under the covers with you; I can get you warm in no time."

I am surprise that I was able to keep my tone so casual as I watch her willingly do as I ask; she keeps her brown eyes locked on my green ones as her teeth chatter and I shift my body to get under the covers with her. I am barely settled in the bed when she glues herself to my body. I wrap my arms around her as she buries her face in my neck and slides her thigh across my waist as she hugs my body tightly and lets out another round of shivering. I hold her tightly to my chest with one arm and use my other hand to stroke her wet hair and after a few minutes she stops shivering and lets out a small sigh of relief before she pulls her face back to look at me.

"Thank you so much; I didn't think I would ever get warm."

"Tell me what happened."

"Don't look so freaked out Landon; I was on my way here from a party and my truck got a flat tire. I had to walk the last six miles in the rain."

"Jesus! You could have gotten killed walking around out there. Between the dark and the heavy rain not to mention those black clothes you always wear you could have gotten hit by a car."

"Yeah but I didn't. Some weirdo did try to give me a ride but I kicked his car and told him to fuck off."

"Oh my god!" I can't help but pull her tighter against my chest when I hear her tell me about someone trying to pick her up. Not only do I pull her tight against my body but I find my hand knotted into her damp hair as I nuzzle her face into my neck. She pats my chest and pulls her face back to look at me again; this time she has a soft smile on her face.

"Don't be so worried about me Landon; I can take pretty good care of myself."

"I believe you. I know I sure wouldn't mess with you." I chuckle.

"Damn right you wouldn't; I fight dirty."

"Do you keep a set of brass knuckles in your pocket too?"

"No but I do carry a knife with me; I don't go anywhere without my knife." She says seriously.

"Where is it right now then?"

"It's in my pants pocket at the bottom of your shower."

"You trust me enough to be this far away from your deadly weapon?"

"Of course I trust you; in fact I feel safe with you even."

"Well I can understand why you wouldn't feel threatened around me; it's not like you couldn't out run me."

Just when I feel the urge to apologize to her for making yet another joke about my disability she starts to giggle and I end up laughing with her when she pokes me in the rib a few times.

"You are such a little smart ass."

"Little? This coming from someone that is barely five feet tall and probably only weighs ninety pounds."

"I don't weigh ninety pounds; I weigh a hundred and two and I'll have you know I am five feet one inch and a quarter."

The two of us are laughing so hard that I barely hear the knock at my bedroom door. I am still chuckling when I tell my dad to come in. He raises his eyebrows at the sight of Faith and I under the covers on my bed.

"Everything alright in here you two?"

"Don't look at me like that dad; you told me to get her warm and dry."

"That's true; I did say that...guess I didn't think you would take me so literally. What happened to you Faith?"

"I was on my way over here but my truck got a flat tire; I had to walk the rest of the way."

"Why didn't you call Landy's phone? I would have came and got you."

"I didn't have his phone number."

"Oh..." Dad trails off.

"Mr. Styles would it be okay if I stay here tonight and I can find someone to come and get me and help me fix my tire in the morning? My mom isn't home and it's already eleven. Please, I don't have anyone else to call."

"Where is your truck?"

"Down on Shuster."

"My goodness, that's what like six or seven miles from here? Did you walk all that way?"

"Yes sir."

"Young lady; you call me sir or Mr. Styles one more time then I am going to make you sleep in the garage tonight."

"So she can stay then?" I chime in on the conversation; proud that I managed to keep a neutral tone.

"Of course she can stay. Are you hungry or anything Faith?"

"No thank you sss...I mean Henry."

"Are you sure you can get someone to help you with your truck in the morning? I would help if I could but I have work so if you are depending on me then you will have to wait until almost six in the evening before I can change your tire."

"I can change her tire for her dad."

"You sure bud?"

"Yes, I'm sure just make sure you leave the van here tomorrow; it's easier for me to drive than the car."

"Landon...you shouldn't be driving that van until I get the hand controls installed."

"I can drive the van just fine dad; I do it all the time. Didn't I just drive it the other day to go get you ice cream? The Amber Cow is ten miles from here."

"Yeah...yeah okay, just be careful okay."

"Always."

"Well it's past my bedtime so I am going to turn in for the night. You kids try to keep the noise down; some of us have to get up early in the morning."

"Goodnight dad."

"Goodnight Henry and thank you so much."

Dad smiles softly at Faith and I cringe when he winks at me; he has no shame at all. I can't help the groan that comes out of my mouth because he's is so damn embarrassing; Faith on the other hand lets out a small giggle as she waves goodnight to my dad. She is still laughing when she turns to look at me.

"I like your dad; he's funny."

"He's embarrassing."

"I think he's sweet."

"Oh really now?"

"Yes really, now move over and quit hogging all the blankets."

"Hmm...if dad's so sweet then why don't you go sleep with him?"

"I bet he would share more blankets than you do." She giggles.

Our laughter tapers off and I find my stomach flipping with nerves at the thought of her sleeping in my bed. I thought for sure my dad would have insisted she sleep on the couch but he seemed perfectly fine with the thought of Faith sharing my bed with me.

"I can go sleep on the couch if you would be more comfortable."

"This is your bed Landon; if you sleep on the couch you will hurt tomorrow."

"I don't mind really; I just don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You aren't, I want to sleep in here with you...I mean if that's okay with you? I can go sleep on the couch if you want."

"You can sleep in here if you want; I don't mind but keep your hands to yourself." I attempt a joke to try to calm my nerves a little.

"Okay, I promise." She says seriously as she shifts her body away from me and sits up.

"I wasn't being serious Faith; it's not like I'd kick you out of my bed just because you brushed up against me. Hell, the way you were glued to me a minute ago; can't get much closer than that right?"

She smiles so big that her nose crinkles and her eyebrows arch high above her warm brown eyes; she's breath taking. She lies back down beside me and there is about six inches of space between the two of us yet I can feel the warmth of her body at her closeness. I fight the urge to close that six inch gap and wrap my arms around her and taste her mouth. She is still smiling softly when I turn to look at her.

"Have you ever done this before?" She whispers.


	7. 7 The Diary Of Jane

"Done what?"

"Sleep with someone?"

"No...sort of...not for a whole night and not under the blankets."

"What do you mean?"

"My ex...Amanda came here crying one night and I held her until she fell asleep. We weren't under the blankets and she was gone in the morning when I woke up. Incidentally that's the last time she was here; there was something about her sleeping next to me that made me realize that her mind games had to stop; it was just too much for me anymore...sounds stupid but..."

"No, I think I understand what you mean. Sex is...well sex but sleeping next to someone all night is so...intimate I guess...people are so vulnerable when they sleep and it's hard to trust someone when you are sleeping."

"Have you?"

"What slept with someone? No not really, I don't think passing out drunk really counts does it?"

"I guess not if you are passed out it's not like you made the conscience choice to sleep with someone."

"Well in that case then the answer is no."

"Do you do that a lot?"

"Do what?"

"Pass out drunk? Do you drink a lot?"

"No not really. I only passed out once at my friend Becky's; we drank all of her dads peach schnapps and pucked our guts up; we passed out on her bathroom floor. I can't stand the smell of peach to this day because of that awful night."

"I can only imagine."

"To answer your other question; I do go to a lot of parties but I don't really drink that much. Maybe an occasional beer or two but I mostly just go for something to do and to get away from my house."

"Were you drinking tonight?"

"No why?"

"Just wondering...I wouldn't want you to get into trouble with the cops or something worse because you were drinking and driving."

"I don't do that. If I drink I don't drive. Since I don't like to stay at strange people's houses; I don't usually drink."

"That's a good thing."

"Yeah..." She breathes and the room falls silent for a few minutes as I look over at her.

"So...um...why are you here Faith?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Did you go to Adams party?"

"Yeah, I think that's whose house someone told me I was at."

"He's my ex's new boyfriend, well not new I guess; they have been dating for almost eight months now."

"Oh...sorry for bringing it up."

"You didn't; I did remember?"

"Right. Are you really going to fix my flat tire for me?"

"You have a spare in your truck don't you?"

"Yes, and the garage I get my truck serviced at just checked it a couple of weeks ago and said it was fine."

"How about a jack? Do you have one of those?"

"I think that's what that thing is under the seat."

"I'm sure that's what it is but if not I have one in than van so no worries."

"I really appreciate you helping me. I hope you aren't going out of your way or anything."

"I'm happy to help in any way I can."

"And you're sure you can do it all by yourself."

"I won't be doing it all by myself; you will be helping me."

"I don't know how to change a tire; I'm lucky I can figure out how to put gas and washer fluid in it."

"After tomorrow you will know how to change a tire. Everyone should know how do to that because you never know when you are going to get a flat."

"I'm just lucky I wasn't farther from your house."

"Speaking of which; you do realize that you were only about a half a mile from the party you left? Why didn't you just walk back there and see if someone could help you?"

"I guess I really didn't think of that; all I could think about was getting here to see you."

The way she is looking at me makes me feel torn in half right now. On one hand; I feel my stomach flipping to the point that I feel the urge to gag because my nerves are so on edge. On the other hand I want so bad to make the four or five inches of space between our faces disappear and consume her mouth with mine. I pull my lip ring into my mouth with my teeth and start to chew on it as I avert my eyes away from her intense stare. I decide to ask her some mindless questions to take a little bit of weight out of the heavy air.

"So why isn't your mom at home? Does she work nights or something?"

"No she works afternoons as a waitress."

"Oh, is she on a trip or something then?"

"No...right about now I am sure she is three sheets to the wind and working on bringing me home a new daddy for the week."

"Shit...really? Does she really bring home a new guy every week?"

"Pretty much; unless she manages to find one dumb enough to stick around longer."

"Where is your dad?"

"I never met him. To be honest I'm not completely sure my mom even knows who my dad is."

"That would be shitty going through life wondering who your father is."

"I used to pretend that our one neighbor was my dad when I was little. I'm older now and it really doesn't bother me anymore."

"Do you get along well with your mom?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm sorry if I upset you; I was just trying to get to know you better."

"Don't be sorry...all you need to know about my mother is that she's a hopeless alcoholic and she has been absent for most of my life. I can't remember the last time a day went by where she didn't drink. She manages to clean up enough to go to work but as soon as her shift is over she hits the bottle hard. She disappears sometimes. The longest she has ever been gone was three weeks when I was nine years old. It was the best three weeks of my life."

"Why?"

"I had the house all to myself and I felt like I could breathe for once; I felt like I wasn't walking around on egg shells all the time."

"I can't believe you were home all alone at such a young age. That's illegal to leave a child that young alone for even a couple of hours let alone three whole weeks. You didn't have any other family members or even a neighbor that could have looked after you?"

"No..."

Just as I am about to attempt to find the right words to soothe her obvious uncomfortable state; Faith's stomach growls loudly and she giggles.

"Are you hungry?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not; your stomach just growled. Let's go in the kitchen and find you something to eat."

"I don't want to get out of this bed; my legs are killing me from walking so far with soaking wet jeans on."

"Stay here then and I will bring you something."

"No, don't do that. Really, I will be fine."

"Yeah well, as soon as you try a piece of my dad's fried chicken you will be asking yourself why you didn't ask for food sooner."

Just as I am about to open my bedroom door she says my name.

"Landy...do you want me to help you?"

"You stay put; I'll be right back." I shoot her a wink over my shoulder and leave the room to get her some food. I glance at the clock on the stove and can't remember the last time I was still awake at five after twelve; probably since before my accident. I should be exhausted but I have never been more awake. I manage to wipe the huge grin off my face before I go back into my bedroom and find Faith sitting up against the headboard with my blanket pulled up around her waist. Seeing her look so comfortable in my bed makes my blood pound in my ears; she looks perfect.

"You should smile more. You look good with a smile on your face Landon."

"I didn't even know I was smiling."

"You were; it's beautiful the way your eyes light up when you are smiling."

Her words make me speechless but I play it off with a small chuckle as I hand her the plate of chicken and a bottle of water that I pull out of my back pocket. She instantly dives into the chicken before I even take my hand off the plate and I let a small laugh slip out of my mouth. I shuffle my legs back under the blankest and sit beside her against the headboard and try not to stare at her as she practically inhales the two pieces of chicken. When she's done she looks at me with her chicken grease covered hands out in front of her.

"Can you uncover me so I can go wash my hands please; I don't want to get any of this on your blanket."

I pick up the plate and pull the covers off of her legs and quickly look across the room so I don't end up leering at her exposed thighs; my boxers were so far up her legs that it almost looked like she wasn't even wearing them. I chuckle as I set the plate of chicken bones on my night stand and wonder if she wants more. Her voice pulls me out of my thought.

"Hey...um Landon...I don't suppose you have an extra toothbrush in here do you? If not I can just use my finger."

"You can use mine if you want to."

Her head darts out of the bathroom and she has a skeptical look on her face.

"Are you sure?"

"You don't have anything nasty do you?"

She rolls her eyes at me and lets out a breath of air before saying: "Only if you count pieces of chicken stuck between my teeth as nasty."

"No that doesn't count; help yourself to whatever you need in there."

"Thank you."

"Any time." I call a little louder because she disappears back into the bathroom.

A few minutes later she comes back into the room; she does that same little skip thing that she did the other day and launches herself over my legs and lands right beside me with a giggle.

"Settle down now." I joke.

"It's your fault; you fed me so now I will be all wound up."

"Did you get enough to eat? I can get you more if you want."

"No, I'm full but thank you."

"Are you sure? I think I still see a few scraps of meat on these bones over here in case you change your mind."

"I'm sorry; I was starving."

"Don't be sorry. I was only joking. Next time you are hungry just say so."

"I don't want to be a mooch."

"You're not, trust me; if anyone should be considered a mooch it should be Jake. I swear he eats more food here than he does at his own house most days."

"Your dad doesn't mind?"

"Nah...dad loves Jake."

"But what about me?"

"I promise you that my dad doesn't mind; in fact he might even try to force feed you when he gets to know you a little better. When I was younger half the kids in the neighborhood would be here eating; dad likes to give Jake a hard time but he loves to feed people."

"You better make sure to send me a memo every time he makes that fried chicken."

"I told you it was good."

"Good? Your dad could put KFC out of business with his fried chicken."

"Yeah, dads a great cook. It kind of sucks that he doesn't have time to cook more often. He makes an effort to cook about three times a week though."

"I don't think my mom ever cooked anything besides eggs or mac and cheese and usually she never shared."

"Seriously?"

"I wouldn't joke about something like that. I used to have like three friends that I didn't even like just so I could go eat at their house."

"Can't you cook?"

"Sure I can but you need to have food in the house to be able to cook."

"Please tell me you are joking."

"Again, I wouldn't joke about something like that. I wish I was but I'm not. Have you ever eaten a mustard sandwich before?"

"No! That sounds gross."

"Sure to someone that gets dinner cooked at least three nights a week and has food in the house."

"I'm...really sorry that you grew up like that."

"Grew up? I'm still living like that Landon."

"Not anymore you're not! You can come over here and eat every day from now on. No one should have to go without food."

"Why are you getting all loud right now?"

"I-I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to yell...it's just not right that you don't have food in your house."

Faith places her hand on my thigh and I feel a spark of electricity flow through my entire body; that feeling is enough to make me gasp for air.

"Now you see why I didn't want to talk about my mom earlier. I can't even believe I told you all of that; I have never told anyone about growing up without food. I feel kind of embarrassed now."

I place my hand over top of her hand that is resting on my thigh and squeeze it gently as I look into her sad eyes.

"Please don't be embarrassed. I meant what I said too. You can come here and eat any time you want to."

"Thanks but I doubt it will be that often."

"Why?"

"I live nine miles from you and gas is expensive."

"I can give you gas money."

"No...no I don't want you to do that...can we change the subject now."

I take a minute to look at her as I trace circles on the back of her hand in an attempt to soothe her nerves. I want to push the issue about the gas money but decide to just drop it for now.

"You getting tired yet?" I ask casually.

"A little bit but I'm not ready to go to sleep yet unless you are?"

"I'm not even a little bit tired. Do you want to listen to some music?"

"Sure but nothing too loud; we don't want to wake up your dad."

I grab my IPod and pick one of my night time playlist that has a mix of some of my more mellow music and push play. I turn the volume down so it's more of a soothing background sound and put my IPod on my night stand before turning to look at her again.

"Oh god! I love this song." The song that is playing is Rain by Breaking Benjamin.

"Yeah?"

"Yes! Definitely; Breaking Benjamin is in my top ten."

"Mine too."

"That's two bands we both love. What else do you like?"

"Everything except polka." I chuckle.

"I'm kind of the same. I just love music so it's hard to pick a favorite. My favorites vary from day to day; all depends on my mood you know?"

"I completely agree with you."

"Oh it's so great that you are a music lover. Even if I decide you are totally boring at least we can always talk about music."

"Boring huh?"

"Don't raise your eyebrows at me like that Landy."

"What are you going to do about it? Oh wait don't tell me; you're going to go in the bathroom and get your knife after me aren't you?"

"No! I would never stab you but I might tickle you until you pee yourself."

"Don't start something you can't finish little girl." I say as I point my finger at her as though I am going to tickle her.

"Please don't call me that." Her fun mood did a nose dive and now she looks sad all over again. When I squeeze her hand she yanks it out of my reach and scoots all the way to the edge of the bed and begins chewing on her lip.

"Hey...I'm sorry if I upset you." I keep my voice low and my body still so I don't make her bolt out of my room. Everything about her body language right now tells me not to dare try and touch her even though all I want to do is hug her to calm her down. "Please don't be mad at me Faith; I promise I won't ever call you that again."

She's quite for a moment but then she stops chewing on her lip and looks up at me; once again her brown eyes look sad but there is also something else in her eyes that I can't put my finger on.

"I didn't mean to freak out on you like that. I just hate it when anyone calls me that."

"It won't happen again; you have my word."

She smiles softly and shifts her body back across the bed until her knee is resting against my thigh as she has her legs crossed under the blanket. I don't move a muscle because I don't want to scare her off again. I decide to make a joke to lighten the mood.

"I forgot to pick on you about something Faith."

"Oh really now and what would that be?"

"You told me you were going to wear a pink dress the next time you came over; I'm a little disappointed to be honest."

"Landy! I don't even own a dress let alone a pink one."

"Still disappointed." I put my lip out to make it look like I am pouting.

"Put that lip back in your mouth before I bite it." She jokes.

"Don't threaten me with a good time Faith; I might bite you back if you do that."

"Please do." Her tone is no longer joking when I look at her.

"What?" I ask in confusion.

"I have been here for going on two and a half hours now and not once have you tried to kiss me."

"You know why I can't do that Faith."

"Jake?"

"Yes Jake. I talked to him but you need to talk to him as well; to clear up whatever is between the two of you."

"I already did."

"You did? When?"

"At the party."

"What did he say? What did you say?"

"It was pretty simple really. I basically told Jake that I kissed you and that I seem to have some kind of strange pull towards you and that I want to see what that's all about and I told him that I didn't want to be anything but friends with him from here on out. Jake told me he was fine with it but then he threatened to kill me."

"Kill you why?"

"He said if...and these are his exact words: If you fuck over my friend they will never find your body."

"Did he sound serious when he said that?"

"Not about the killing part but he was serious about me not fucking you over. I wouldn't do that to you." She yawns loudly and shakes her head. I slide my body down to lay in bed.

"Lay down Faith; it's getting late and you should get some rest."

She looks at me for a moment but does what I tell her to and now she is on her side facing me. I reach over and turn my lamp off before picking up my IPod.

"Can you leave the music on for a little bit please; I have trouble falling asleep without it."

"Sure. I usually end up falling asleep with it playing anyhow. Is this okay or do you want me to change it to something else?"

"No this is fine."

"Okay."

"Goodnight Landy and thank you for taking care of me."

I roll over to my side so I can face her and carefully raise my hand to touch her face; when she doesn't flinch I slide my fingers over her pale skin a few times and tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear before resting my palm along her jaw.

"Can I give you a goodnight kiss?" I ask shyly.

 **SONG:** The Diary Of Jane **ARTIST:** Breaking Benjamin

 _ **..."Try to find out what makes you tick...As I lie down...Sore and Sick...Do you like that?...Do you like that?..."...**_


	8. 8 Rain

**SONG:** Rain **ARTIST:** Breaking Benjamin

 _ **..."To lie here under you...Is all that I could ever do..."...**_

"Yes please." She breathes.

Instead of shifting closer to her; I slid my hand to the back of her neck and pull her face closer to mine. Her warm breath tickles my face and when I see her use her tongue to wet her lips I gently press my lips against hers. I keep the kiss light and short but before I can break apart our lips she shifts her body closer to mine and slides her fingers into my hair before she deepens the kiss. This kiss is completely different than my innocent goodnight kiss and even different from the very first kiss we shared. This kiss is strong and full of an urgency that I have never felt before; not even when I first fell in love with Amanda did I feel like this when I kissed her. Kissing Faith sends electricity through my entire body and more alarmingly makes my heart feel like it is going to beat out of my chest.

When I feel her tongue slide across my bottom lip I let out a small groan before meeting her tongue with my own. Our tongues slide against each other's in a seductive motion and I feel my pulse quicken further. Just when I think she is going to stop the kiss; she pulls my bottom lip into her mouth and sucks on it gently before taking my lip ring between her teeth and tugging on it a few times before her mouth crashes into mine once again and my tongue meets hers when I feel it slide across my lip again. Our kiss grows more and more intense as she knots her fingers into my hair; pulling it hard as she softly moans against my lips; the tickling sensation of her moaning into my mouth makes my whole body shudder. She pulls her lips back far enough to mumble into my mouth.

"Touch me Landon." Her words sound like urgent pleas and I let my hand slide out from behind her neck slowly. I take my time running my fingers against her neck and across her shoulder before sliding my hand down the length of her arm all the way to where it's bent at the elbow; I take a moment to squeeze her elbow with my hand before I let my fingers glide down to her slim waist. She continues to tug on my hair as we kiss and I rotate my hand so that I can slide my palm across her flat stomach before changing directions and griping her ribs in my hand where I still my movements.

She shifts her body again and I groan loudly when she slides her leg up over my hip. My hand automatically finds her hip and my fingers dig into her skin as I shift a little closer to her and take control over our kiss. We are both breathing hard and I feel dizzy from our heated kiss to the point where I have to pull my mouth away from hers with a gasp. She doesn't pause for a single moment when I stop kissing her; her lips travel down my throat and back up to my jaw and I feel her teeth graze the entire length of my jaw before I feel her tongue on my ear. When she pulls my ear into her mouth and begins to suck on the sensitive skin my entire body shudders and I can't stop the moans that escape my throat as she pulls harder on my hair.

I feel her other hand press against my chest and she slides her hand all the way down to my stomach but before her hand can travel lower I grab her hand with my free hand and lace my fingers between hers. My other hand that has been kneading her hip throughout our kiss slides back up to her elbow and I give it another light squeeze before letting my fingers slide up to her wrist and cover her hand that is knotted in my hair before lacing my fingers between hers; effectively putting an end to her pulling my hair. I shift my body slightly and she stops sucking on my ear and pulls her face back to look at me.

"What's wrong Landon?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure? You kind of pulled away from me a little bit."

"It's a little fast."

"We were only kissing."

"I know but..." I am such a pathetic coward.

"But what?"

"I think we should try to get some sleep."

"Oh...okay." She tried to keep her tone casual but when she pulls her hands away from mine; I know she is upset. "Did I do something wrong?" She asks.

"No...I'm sorry if I upset you but it's been a really long time since I have kissed someone like that...actually I have never kissed someone like that come to think of it and it's just a little overwhelming for me."

"Are you a virgin?"

"No why?"

"How can you not be a virgin and never have kissed anyone like that before?"

"I have but it feels different with you for some reason; kissing you is more intense somehow."

"It feels different kissing you too. I don't think I have ever felt something like that before."

"Me either." I admit.

"I went from zero to sixty as soon as we started kissing."

"Yeah, I know. That's kind of why I wanted to stop for tonight. It was getting a little overwhelming too fast and I just wanted to slow down a little bit."

"Let's get some sleep then."

"Please don't be mad at me Faith; I just need a little time to figure this all out."

"I'm not mad; I promise. I completely understand why you might need a little time."

"Thank you for being so understanding."

"Can I make a request before we go to sleep?"

"What's that?"

"Can we cuddle? I promise to behave myself."

I roll over onto my back and hold my hands out to her.

"Come here." I whisper and in an instant she is glued to my side. She has her hand resting on my chest and her face nuzzled into the crook of my neck. She giggles when I reach across my body to pull her leg up over my waist so we are laying the same way we were when she was shivering earlier.

"Goodnight Landon."

I kiss the top of her head and press my hand against her lower back before whispering:

"I like the way you fit against me Faith."

"I like the way I fit against you too."

"Sweet dreams."

"You too."

"Goodnight pretty girl."

When she doesn't answer I think maybe pretty girl is another name she doesn't liked to be called but then I notice the deep steady rhythm of her breathing and realize that she is sleeping. I kiss the top of her head and I think I am still smiling when I fall asleep.

As I slowly start to wake up the next morning; I feel a smile begin to spread across my face because Faith is still snuggled against my side; right where she was when she fell asleep. A quick glance at the clock tells me it's a little after nine; which tells me my dad is long gone on his way to work so that means Faith and I are all alone. I brush a lock of her dark hair off her cheek and plant a few kisses on top of her head; she takes a deep breath and the fingers on her hand that lies on my chest twitch slightly; telling me she is awake.

"Good morning Faith."

She lets out a small sigh and shifts against me so that she can look up at me; a small smile and warm brown eyes greet me.

"Good morning...did you sleep well?"

"I slept really good actually. How about you pretty girl; how did you sleep?"

"I can't remember when I had a better night's sleep; I don't think I moved once."

"All that walking and all that shivering must have exhausted you."

"Probably but I think I slept so well because I was here with you; I felt so safe and protected sleeping in your arms." She says as she begins to rise from her position and when I feel her leg that is draped over my waist begin to slide off my body; I grab her bare knee and pull her back down to me.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I was going to get up."

"Come here first; I want a good morning kiss." I whisper.

"You are pretty demanding you know?"

"I know, now bring me those lips."

She lets out a small giggle and she shifts her body so fast that the next thing I know she is completely on top of me and sitting on my waist. Faith places her hands on my shoulders and straightens herself into a sitting position before pushing her chest out and arching her back as her head falls backwards; a small sigh escapes her mouth as she stretches. For some strange reason her movements reminds me of a stretching cat; I can't help the bubble of laughter that escapes my chest and end up laughing harder when her head snaps back to attention and her brown eyes burn into mine.

"What's so funny Landon?"

"I don't know if I should tell you considering you have me in a vulnerable position."

"Hmm...this is true but if you don't tell me then just remember that I _do_ _have_ you in this vulnerable position." She attempts to make her words sound menacing but I can see the ghost of a smile at the corner of her mouth.

"I was just thinking that the way you were stretching reminded me of a kitty."

"A kitty? Really?"

"Uh-huh...absolutely adorable." I say as I gently rest my hands on the top of her bare thighs.

"Maybe next time I'll purr a little bit to make you happy."

"That would make me very happy."

She leans forward and presses her lips against mine in a chaste kiss but I slide my hand behind her neck and consume her mouth with mine. Within seconds our kiss grows from a simple good morning kiss to a very intense one. She breaks our kiss and her words come out almost breathless.

"What happened to feeling overwhelmed by kissing me? Is it the same today as it was last night?"

"It's the same but I think maybe that will never change. There is something very...penetrating about you and I can't seem to get a grip on that so I figured I would...just let go."

"Just let go?"

"Yes..." I breathe as the heat begins to grow between us.

Her mouth crashes back into mine and she uses her tongue to pry my lips apart and I greet her tongue with my own. I grip the back of her neck tightly with my fingers and let my other hand slide under the hem of her shirt to feel the soft skin on her lower back; a small moan escapes her mouth when my fingers slide across her bare skin. Feeling my hands on her skin seems to have awakened something inside of her because her hands that were gently resting on the sides of my face begin to slide wildly over my upper body.

Her left hand grips my bicep and her right hand dips below the collar of my shirt and a low growl slips from my mouth into hers when I feel her fingers slide across my bare skin. In a flash her hands and lips disappear and I feel her hips lift off my waist long enough for her to shove my t-shirt all the way up to my neck and then her hands slide over my bare stomach and chest in an erratic motion before her mouth crashes back into mine. If our previous kiss felt intense then this one is earth shattering; her steady stream of soft moans makes my pulse pound loudly in my ears and I am breathing so hard that I feel like I have to fight just to keep some air in my lungs.

My breathing finally becomes so erratic that I jerk my head to the side to break our kiss; she doesn't pause for a moment; her mouth attacks my jaw and neck. Her lips; her tongue; her teeth don't miss a single inch of my throat in her hurried movements. I feel the muscles in her lower back tighten up as she attempts to shift her body lower on my waist; I grip her hips tightly with my hands and breath a single word into her ear as she fights against my strong hands.

"Don't."

"Why?" She moans.

"Please don't." I practically beg.

"Please touch me then; I need you to." She begs right back at me.

I feel her hips begin to roll seductively against my waist and I now know what exactly she means when she begged me to touch her. I keep my left hand gripped tightly around her hip bone as I slide my right hand across her waist and let my fingers dip into the waist band of my boxer shorts that she is wearing. When my fingers dip even lower into the fabric her hips roll faster and a loud moan slips out of her mouth in anticipation of my touch. I am momentarily intimidated by her urgent movements and bold request to have me touch her; I haven't touched a girl like this since I was with Amanda and even then I only did on a few occasions. Feeling the way Faiths lips are moving against mine and the way her hands slide erratically over my bare chest gives me confidence that I didn't know I had.

My fingers were moving slow and teasingly but without any kind of warning from me I shove my hand between her thighs in one swift movement and my fingers press against her sensitive clit. Her whole body jerks when she feels my fingers exactly where she wants them; after she pants quietly a few times she returns her mouth to mine as her hands continue to run wildly over my chest. I take note of her reaction at my circling fingers and when I find that perfect sweet spot; my fingers swirl relentlessly. I feel her legs tighten around my waist and her hands begin to shake as her lips fight to keep our kiss going. Her moans are coming too close together as she nears her release and she gives up on kissing me and drops her head to my shoulder. I slide my free hand up her back and grip the back of her neck to move her head so that I can take my turn attacking her throat with my mouth. I begin to suck her pulse point in beat with my circling fingers as she gets even closer to her climax. I slow my fingers almost to the point of stopping but increase the speed of my sucking on her neck.

"Please...Landy please." She pleads.

"Shh...just feel me pretty girl." I mumble against her skin. **Who the hell am I right now**? My movements and my words are coming from a part of me that I didn't know even existed until this mysterious girl came into my life a few short days ago.

Once again without any kind of warning from me my fingers leave her clit and she gasps loudly as I slide two fingers into her center and press my thumb against her clit to keep her close to her release. I keep pressure on her with my thumb as I stroke her center with my fingers at a steady pace. I am in awe of the connection I feel with her body; I can practically predict each moan and each flex of her muscles as my stroking continues. I feel her whole body tense and I know she is finally at her breaking point; I curl my fingers inside of her and with a single flick of my thumb against her sensitive bud of nerves; her entire body shudders with her release and she lets out a single loud moan followed by a few whimpers of my name. I slow my movements to allow her to ride out her high as I plant soft kisses on her neck. It takes several minutes for her ragged breathing to return to normal as I run my hands over the small of her back; her soft whispers stills my movements.

"You are very good at that." She mumbles into my neck.

"It was easy."

"What!" She practically shrieks as she raises her head off my shoulder to look at me.

"No! I didn't mean it like that. I'm so sorry."

"Then what did you mean by that?" Her brown eyes are burning a hole into my face and her voice sounds more pained than angry.

"I meant that you are easy to _read..._ like your body movements and stuff...crap I'm having trouble explaining this the right way to you."

"Obviously." She rolls her eyes as she slides her body off of mine and moves to the end of my bed where I can't reach her with my hands. I shift my body so that I can sit up against the headboard of my bed and take a deep breath before I attempt to explain myself; her dark glare gives me an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

"Please stop trying to catch my hair on fire with your eyes right now and give me a chance to explain."


End file.
